- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, hold on. While I'm comfortable speaking about science, I'm not sure I know how to spark the interest of school children. Better Google it.
- Howard Wolowitz: What exactly are you looking up?
- Sheldon Cooper: [Types] How do I get twelve-year-old girls excited?
- Leonard Hofstadter, Howard Wolowitz: Nooo!
- Sheldon Cooper: I believe in a gender-blind society like in Star Trek, where women and men of all races and creeds worked side by side as equals.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You mean where they were advanced enough to invent an inter-stellar warp drive but a black lady still answered the space phone?
- Howard Wolowitz: Oh, I did spend a lot of my shower time with Lieutenant Uhura.
- Sheldon Cooper: I suppose there is a history of professional women using their initials so as not to be prejudged: Harry Potter's J.K. Rowling... uh, Star Trek's D.C. Fontana...
- Howard Wolowitz: Van Nuys pole dancer D.D. Melons.
- Howard Wolowitz: Bernie, I'm home. Did you have fun today?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Yes, and I have a surprise for you.
- Howard Wolowitz: Please be Cinderella. Please be Cinderella.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [Appears dressed as Cinderella] Hello, my handsome prince.
- Howard Wolowitz: Milady.
- [Mimes riding a horse to her]
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, I think this whole thing is a waste of time.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You mean helping women get interested in science?
- Sheldon Cooper: No, helping anyone. People should be able to take care of themselves.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You mean like when I drove you to the pharmacy, the dry cleaners and the post office?
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm not against people using tools. Even an otter picks up a rock once in a while to open a clam.
- [last lines]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [Lying on the couch, dressed as Snow White] Sheldon, all Snow White needs is one kiss to wake up.
- Sheldon Cooper: [Sitting at his desk] I heard you the first time.
- Leonard Hofstadter: We're supposed to be encouraging women to study science. Can you at least play a less sexist game?
- Sheldon Cooper: I don't see anything sexist. She can handle a battleaxe as well as any man.
- Howard Wolowitz: And she has mammary glands that can breast feed a family of thirty and have enough milk left over to open a Baskin-Robbins.
- Sheldon Cooper: Mother, warrior princess, small business owner, I see glass ceilings shattering all over the place.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I haven't been to Disneyland since I was a kid; we should definitely go one weekend.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Weekends are too crowded.
- Penny: So blow off work. Go on a weekday.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Hookey? I've never played hookey in my life. My mom said that's how girls end up addicted to reefer and jazz music.
- Penny: More like how girls end up at a Best Western hotel with a thirty-four-year-old guy named Luther.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Joke?
- Penny: I can laugh about it now.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: We can't all be Cinderella.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: How do we decide?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Simple. I came up with the idea, so I get to be Cinderella. Any of you bitches have a problem with that, I can stop the car right now!
- [first lines]
- Leonard Hofstadter: Look, I know you guys don't want to do this but we have no choice, so you can either bitch and whine, or we can just get it over with.
- Howard Wolowitz: I got whine.
- Sheldon Cooper: I got the 'b' word.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, well, it's in our contract to serve on a university committee, and frankly this is one I believe in. Okay, here we go. 'Encouraging more women to pursue a career in the sciences.'
- Howard Wolowitz: C'mon, if I was any good at convincing women to do stuff, I wouldn't have spent so much of my twenties in the shower.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Why don't you take her to Disneyland? You go on Space Mountain; you're in the dark; she's holding on to you...
- Penny: Yeah, but you've just have to remember that ride is shorter than you think and they take a picture of you at the end, so make sure you got all your clothes back on.
- [Amy & Bernadette stare at her]
- Penny: It's a *joke*! Based on real events.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Nice of your school to let us talk to girls about science.
- Howard Wolowitz: Yeah. They're very excited to hear from their most famous student, except for the serial killer that ate all those prostitutes.
- Sheldon Cooper: Must be exciting to come back to your alma mater as an astronaut.
- Howard Wolowitz: I know. I left here a skinny nerd...
- Leonard Hofstadter: And now you're also an astronaut.
- Raj Koothrappali: I don't know about Disneyland. With the crowds and the weird characters walking around, it reminds me too much of India.
- Raj Koothrappali: [Texting] My father's a gynecologist, so if you're ever in India and you need a "check-up", my father is, as he likes to say, at your cervix.
- Lucy: [Texting] That's terrible. Your father should be in a pun-itentiary.
- Raj Koothrappali: [Texting] That is a fitting pun-ishment. I still don't know what you do for a living.
- Lucy: [Texting] Web design.
- Raj Koothrappali: [Texting] Anything I might have seen?
- Lucy: [Texting] I don't know. You ever look at porn websites?
- Raj Koothrappali: [Texting] No, never. What is porn?
- Lucy: Sorry, auto-correct. That was supposed to say prom websites.
- Raj Koothrappali: Ooh, fun. I love prom. The romance, the gowns, it's like a fairy tale come to life.
- [Lucy looks at Raj funny]
- Raj Koothrappali: Sorry, auto-correct. That was supposed to say, I like sports.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [Enters] Hey, so how was... Huh?
- Penny: [Dressed as Sleeping Beauty] I can explain. I played hooky with the girls and we went to Disneyland and got... What are you doing?
- Leonard Hofstadter: [Undressing] I'm listening, keep going.
- [last lines]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [Amy is lying on the couch in a Snow White costume] Sheldon, all Snow White needs is one little kiss to wake up.
- Sheldon Cooper: Heard you the first time.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I can't believe I ditched work for Disneyland.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: What did you tell your boss?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Oh, I was very clever. I did it in stages. At 7:00 last night, I called about a problem at the lab and casually mentioned I was going out for seafood. At 9:30, I called and told him that one of my scallops tasted weird. At 11:30, I called and said I was throwing up like a firehose. at 12:45, I called and made nothing but dry heaving sounds. And now I'm going to Disneyland!
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Penny, what did you say?
- Penny: I work at the Cheesecake Factory. I said, bye.
- Sheldon Cooper: Hello, female children. Allow me to inspire you with a story about a great female scientist. Polish-born, French-educated, Madame Curie. Co-discoverer of radioactivity, she was a hero of science... until her hair fell out, her vomit and stool became filled with blood, and she was poisoned to death by her own discovery. With a little hard work, I see no reason why that can't happen to any of you.