The D Train (2015) Poster

(2015)

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6/10
A great film being held down by a mediocre one
StevePulaski8 May 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Jarrad Paul and Andrew Mogel's "The D Train" is a far more layered film than its trailers lead one to believe. Beneath the sequences of ribald partying and an explosive Jack Black performance lies tender, more touching ideas of disillusionment, self-delusion, and identity, personal and sexual. Great films have been assembled just from using one of these ideas, and for a film to include all of them in some way shows a large amount of ambition on part of the writing and directing team at work here. However, while being bold enough to try and tackle something larger, "The D Train" tries to have it both ways, creating a raunchy comedy out of material that deserves a more intimate focus and treads almost fatally into the Adam Sandler "anti-character study" formula of belittling its troubled hero.

The film follows Dan Landsman, the self-appointed chairman of his high school's twentieth reunion committee. He is the "do all" man on the job, working as hard as everyone combined, as he appears to relish the days of high school and the memories it left for him. Dan's immediate problem is that nobody, neither the remainder of his committee nor his old classmates, share even a fraction of his enthusiasm, and his constant monopolizing and narcissism fills his peers with contempt. With nobody RSVPing to the reunion, Dan finds one thing that will make them all come and that is the presence of Oliver Lawless (James Marsden).

Oliver was once a popular kid in high school, who went on to pursue his career in acting, predominately in TV commercials. When Dan catches one of Oliver's commercials on TV, he starts an unhealthy obsession with the man, much to the dismay of his wife and fourteen-year-old son. Dan goes as far as to travel to LA with his boss (Jeffrey Tambor), fooling his boss and his wife into thinking it's a business trip, so he can meet and ask Oliver to attend the reunion. Dan and Oliver wind up partying all night before their debauchery makes them question who they really are and want to be.

Dan is played by Jack Black, an actor once committed to the most ridiculous and shallow comedies, who branched out to show his true colors within the last few years. Black is ideal for Dan, a complex character, as his wild, larger-than-life personality and rapidly changing moods are handled with expert realism and genuine talent. Despite having a character that, at times, is incredibly contemptible and somewhat frustrating to watch, Black nails this role, similar to his role as Bernie Tiede in "Bernie," where he took a character and simply ran with it.

Marsden, on the other hand, plays a character where more sophistication and mental stability is assumed. He plays the slick actor, with a cool exterior and a troubled interior, hoping people get so caught up in the former they won't even notice the latter. Black and Marsden make a dynamic duo, and both, particularly Black, transition smoothly between the ribald and the dramatic.

"The D Train," however, examines loftier ideas than I presume anyone going into it ever imagined. The film shows the efforts one will go to continue to fend off feelings of inferiority and disillusionment, along with ideas of sexual revelations, even if that means shunning those you care about the most and becoming so self-absorbed you become uncaring. Dan has ostensibly always been like this, but his behavior worsens over time, and a lot of it is no laughing matter. The problem is, presumably in efforts to make the film attract a wider audience, Paul and Mogel still kind of want you to laugh at this character, even while he's in the mix of an identity crisis. This kind of nonsense is for an Adam Sandler film where the character is irredeemably unlikable; not for a film with such serious ideas behind it.

Furthermore, the film's wobbly tone works against it, sometimes wanting to take on the personality of a raunchy comedy and sometimes straying from it into something more meditative. Again, this makes it seem as if Paul and Mogel don't have enough confidence in their material to make the central focus the deeper, more thoughtful ideas. In efforts to appeal to a more mainstream audience, which I, maybe pessimistically, don't see really happening due to the film's minimal marketing and almost destined obscurity, "The D Train" finds itself squandering its potential, a criminal mistake that hurts an otherwise quietly significant film.
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5/10
I can't in all good conscience say this is a particularly good movie, but you won't forget it.
GiraffeDoor26 March 2019
It is really hard to know quite what to make of this movie. I am inclined to think it's a hair away from being a masterpiece or just trash.

I usually don't pay too much attention to which actors are or aren't in something, or rather usually I prefer to not recognize any actors, but the presence of Jack Black in here gives it a certain credibility, and his impeccable comic timing makes this that much more palatable.

A very dark story about how much of our identity hinges on who were were as youths and how our lives go down hill from there. The plot demands that you believe that a class reunion could be that much of a big deal. It throws its own hands up at one point and tries to hand wave a plot hole by making it an oversight by the main character but it's still just a plot hole.

Things take a very awkward turn half way through in a way I did not see coming. It's an intentionally discomforting movie where things can get quite excruciating. It's a tricky balancing act, not going over board with that kind of thing and overall this movie, despite its intelligent armoury of characterisation and nuance, doesn't quite pull its ambitious story off. Having said that I'm very glad this movie found its audience there were people who could get out of this movie the very particular thing it had to give.

It rather smugly ends thinking it's resolved all it characters problems but it hasn't.
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4/10
jack: please do something more serious
drake-harbinger9 April 2017
3 and under are reserved for movies in which the acting is garbage. the acting in this movie is good.

the movie is the problem.

jack black has chops, but they're wasted in this movie. mr. marsden also sells it. the acting isn't what's wrong with this movie. what's wrong is: what? why did we, the audience, just watch this? it was everywhere, all over the place, and had no landing. it just sort of was.

in a few weeks someone will be talking to me about the movie about that guy at the reunion where he got buttf*cked, and i'll say: "Idunno man. Idunno what you're talking about." Then he'll mention Jack Black, and I'll say, "Oh, I think there was a Netflix thing that sucked where he was a salesman of some kind, and that dude from the transgender show who is really popular was his boss." we'll both agree that that's the movie we both saw, then we'll go back to our desks.

the end.

that's where this ends.
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An unexpected surprise
Gordon-111 December 2015
This film tells the story of a man who enthusiastically organises a high school reunion, but unfortunately is not very popular. He becomes fixated on getting the most popular guy in high school to attend the high school reunion, but one lie after another, things get out of hand.

"The D Train" has an ambiguous title, and does not prepare me for the emotional drama that lie ahead. On the comedy side, the film is quite funny as Jack Black has to cover one lie with a bigger lie. His boss being technology illiterate is also quite funny.

I am very impressed by the dramatic side of this film, because jealousy is a hard emotion to portray on screen. The manifestations of a jealous heart is plain and well portrayed in here, making me care for Jack Black's character and his wife as well. James Marsden is very charming as the guy who is able to make anyone fall for him. He makes the story believable. I really enjoyed "The D Train", which is quite unexpected.
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1/10
Insufferable, unfunny, dis-likable Tish.....
FlashCallahan23 August 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Dan Landsman has never been the cool guy, but that's about to change, if he can convince Oliver Lawless, the most popular guy from his high school who's now the face of a national Banana Boat ad campaign, to show up with him to their class reunion.

A man on a mission, Dan travels from Pittsburgh to LA and spins a web of lies to recruit Lawless.

But he gets more than he bargains for as the unpredictable Lawless proceeds to take over his home, career, and entire life........

Jack Black has had one of the strangest careers in Hollywood for a once A-list star. The School Of Rock, in my opinion, was very mundane, but it rocketed him into the big time, and kudos to him, it opened many doors, and for a while, he was everywhere.

But then he went down the Mike Myers route, and the biggest films he's done in the last ten years are about a talking panda. I always preferred him in a little Independent movie like Bernie, or as a supporting character (his turns in The Cable Guy and High Fidelity were scenes stealing turns).

And let's not forget he played a wannabe 'Rastafarian' in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.

But here, he's really sank to a new low, and his career is now sitting comfortably with Cuba Gooding JRs as having the biggest career nose-dive in history.

Dan is one of the most unlikable, selfish, insufferable characters a 'comedy' has ever seen. The man lies, cheats, steals, and ignores his sons needs in order for him to be popular for once, and you what? It's give me some sadistic pleasure when his world came crashing down around him.

But what makes it worse is that he has such a nice family, and such a comfortable existence, so what if the rest of the alumni don't invite you for a drink, get over it, stop being bitter, and know your priorities in life.

Things only go from bad to worse when Marsden 'enters' into the fray, the writers decide, for some reason, that Dan will do anything, literally anything to be popular and win the day.

And then the film turns almost into a psycho obsessive movie, and Dan almost turns almost a Rupert Pupkin style personality change, because Lawless is doing what Dan should be doing, paying a little attention to his son.

But don't worry, this films message is 'be a nasty person, be abhorrent towards the ones closest to you, because they are like dogs, their love is unconditional.

It's truly one of the most nastiest, vilest, pieces if filth I've ever seen, and I really hope it vanishes without a trace.
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7/10
Less than the sum of it's parts...
DrtyBlvd3 September 2015
...Which is odd, to say the least.

If you love film, you'll find something to take from this. If it's just simple entertainment you seek, best look elsewhere.

It's a puzzler - read some of the polarising reviews - in a way, it reminded me of Jim Carrey in 'The Cable Guy'; you don't get what you expect, and that can be a shock to some, and a boon to others.

Interestingly, and unexpectedly, I now think more of Jack Black - mayhap he just hasn't had the right vehicle to stretch his talents fully in, yet.

It's never going to make the pantheon, but it does have some things of merit; not least of which is the ability to make you cringe whilst not looking away. The how-can-it-possibly-be-resolved expectation is uncomfortably high.

I liked it; the discomfort, as it dawns on you, is tremendous and it walks its' line well - not subtle, but hey - I imagine the studio execs having a nightmare trying to decide how to market this. Whether it dawns on you, or slaps you in the face, will depend...

Once you've watched it, just think on that for a minute - because that vapid 'Tries to get reunion together' rubbish just doesn't cover it, does it?

Loved the soundtrack - especially the INXS lyricism - and some of the lines were priceless. (Lawnchairs)

I liked it. I feel the ending was rushed a little, but then, how else to cover bases?
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1/10
How are people saying this is funny?
timhaskal20 August 2015
OK for starters the movie was bad I mean really bad I figured it would be funny with Jeffrey Tambor and Kathryn Hahn. But no it was quite possibly the worst movie ever made. The story was just pathetic the acting was bad there was nothing in this movie that was redeeming at all.

Either all you people rating it worked on the movie or your Homosexual and just vote happy that there's a movie out there for you. Worst movie ever I guess Tambor was OK but he doesn't get nearly enough screen time its just full of really bad jack black acting.

Oh also there's nothing funny in this movie you will get to the end and be like WTF did I just watch then like me you will be angry cause you where misled by all the IMDb reviews claiming its OK.

Also if you want to hate on my review feel free but please add why its funny and why the acting didn't suck and why the storyline wasn't abysmal.

Never bothered to write on IMDb but this movie was so bad that i found it was my duty as a human to warn other people away from it so they don't buy into the IMDb Fake reviews.
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7/10
Poor comedy, but solid drama
silmaril-623 August 2015
Another mislabeled movie... So no wonder that people who expected to have mindless fun watching Jack Black in a typical comic role he used to play many times before and James Marsden in a role similar to the ones he played brilliantly in Sex drive or Death at a funeral, got unexpectedly hit with quite dark theme with no many things to laugh at and disappointed. At first, I was disappointed too, but somewhere at the middle I realized that the movie it self is good, that the theme is important and that above mentioned (but all the others too) actors did amazing job. I blame the marketing of this movie, poster, but you too dear IMDb for providing wrong info on a movie category and misleading synopsis. So, in conclusion - as a comedy, this one is quite bad, but as a drama, it's very nicely done.
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1/10
Just a sad movie that lacks
vbraun_vlb8 May 2015
Warning: Spoilers
This could have been a fun and entertaining premise...instead it turns into an uncomfortable to watch perversion.

*Possible Spoiler*

Jack Black is so under used in this movie. He tries hard to play the role of a jilted (?) non-gay man that allowed himself to be perversely abused by his bi-sexual school alum.

Kathryn Hahn is hilarious when given the opportunity and she was given no opportunities here. She is even more under used than Black, no character development, no chance to shine.

Russell Posner's sexualized role of a 14 year old is completely one dimensional and offers no room for growth.

The only positive is that my wife was not with me to see this horrible piece of Hollywood pro-sex, pro-gay agenda.

Sad really...this could have been a good movie.
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7/10
Better than I expected it to be
Seth_Rogue_One17 November 2015
In all honesty, when I saw that Jack Black and James Marsden had made a movie together I thought: "oh this might be cool", because I like both of them.

But when I read the plot summary: "The head of the high school reunion committee has to persuade the most popular guy in school to join them in the reunion" my expectations fell way down to the floor.

The idea of a high shcool reunion is really not something I would even bother going to due to many different things so it lost me in the relation to the material factor and it just didn't sound like a very good premise for a movie.

And in a sense it isn't, and it didn't pull me in right away but eventually once James Marsden got into the picture it did and became a lot different from what I expected of the movie, it actually became rather moving in the end.

It's a movie that deals with identity, popularity, sexuality and parenthood and it does so in quite an unusual rather non PC way so if you are a prude you might not appreciate some of the events taking place, I however did and thought it was a breath of fresh air.
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1/10
Pitiful - don't bother
lbdurrette1 February 2016
Warning: Spoilers
One of the WORST movies I've seen in quite some time - didn't hold my interest from the beginning. Jack Black's character was totally unlikeable & I didn't care if he ever made it to the popular list. I gave up even attempting to watch this when the two men began kissing, cut it off & walked away. The rest of the characters in the film were flat & unreal. The whole tone of the film was sheer desperation. Nobody liked Dan in high school & 20 years later, they still didn't like him. It was painful to watch. I tried, but I can't find a single redeeming feature. Jack Black should stick to cartoon voice-overs. Save yourself the time, don't even bother with this one.
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9/10
A great movie but painful to watch
abisio4 November 2015
Warning: Spoilers
The first scenes of the movie show us a mediocre guy, Dan (Jack Black); being ignored and rejected by people that do not look any better than him. The next scenes show Dan and his family and at first sight; things are even more depressing. That is the moment I thought what I am doing here ? I did not come to see a movie to be depressed. Anyway I stayed and what came later was even worse. However the movie become better every minute (if you are able to keep up with the exasperation of painful situations that somewhat reminds us of stupid things of our youth. The D train is a movie about frustration; our own and others we idealize. It is about how we value charisma and coolness over other perhaps more important and deeper virtues; even rejecting the people who care about us. It is about how empty our life might become if we are unable to find our place in the world.

It is also a comedy; and will make you laugh but never without some pain.

Jack Black is a humble actor and really you should put aside your whole ego to do this character. He is not even a nice person; just a mediocre trying to live others people lives.

James Mardsen is brilliant as the cool popular guy that knows perfectly well his own life is worthless. His two scenes with Black at the end of the movie; when he express his feelings about Dan; and when he apologizes; are just perfect. Both actors shine there with controlled performances rarely seen in a comedy (like this one been marketed as).

In brief; it is a rewarding movie that will make you think. For us is perhaps too late; but we can teach our children about this kind of mistakes.
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7/10
I Agree With Pulaski -- Almost Terrific but chickens out
jbrummel13 May 2015
Warning: Spoilers
SPOILERS SPOILERS (it's not that kind of film but I'm cautious)

There is a lot of good in this film -- the performances, the surprises, the exploration of some bold territory.

But to cut to the chase I think it chickens out in a few ways. One is by making the sex the focus of the conflict it derailed the far more nuanced and powerful emotional one. I was hoping Blacks pining for Marsden was not sexual but social, he just wants a friend, to feel valid and worthwhile. "What happened in LA" was not the sex but the connection. But the film drops this and its all about "i screwed a man, am I gay, do I love him etc". Unspoken is the loneliness and inadequacy that drove him to risk so much. The early dinner scene paints it well, then poof, it's gone.

A less egregious chicken out is although Black gets beat up pretty good he only suffers for about 1/2 a day. It's all better and forgiven by noon. Eh.
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1/10
Jack Black: Please read this review, save your career!
noybman10 January 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I'm struggling to write this review almost as much as I struggled to watch this movie. I want to find the most impressive power words to convey the most sincere sense of meaning as to bypass the English language and speak to your soul, your heart, and your mind... I am just not certain this can be done.. but here's to trying.

First, I will suggest that the MAJORITY of the IMDb reviewers that gave this movie more than one star did so because of Jack Black. One of those "It has ____insert name here____, so it has to be good with some eventual redeeming value" factor. With this said, I hope Jack Black himself reads this review, cause I want him to promise on live television to ***NEVER*** accept a part in a movie this abhorrent again for as long as he continues to act.

The movie intends to find a way to make you pity and/or resent the main character (JB), and spends 95% of the time committed to this goal. If it is unsuccessful then you weren't watching.

The last 5% of the time it leaves you some breathing room to contemplate how it will end. Again, the movie wants you to cling to this 5% because it is the only reason why you might still be watching (besides hoping for comeuppance from OR for Jack Black and thus, for you).

They will take this 5% and nag you with it like a carrot on a string. Only to drop it on you in a small dialog that then bends all of reality and tosses it out the window so you can see a happy ending wrapped up in disbelief. It simply grabs you by the scruff of the neck and rubs your nose in it, like a giant steaming turd.

Power Words: Abhorrent, "Steaming Turd", committed, comeuppance, disbelief. (Who would have ever thought those to be power words)
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1/10
I was once again duped into watching a JB flick
justindaugherty-7830123 September 2015
I saw a Jack Black film once, where he was funny. Every film since has left me hoping for the return of the original Jack and each time has been a big let down! After the last film he acted in, I remember thinking, "Never Again" yet this had a solid cast, decent reviews, and some time had passed so I thought maybe Jack would have aged like good wine. Once again, I was wrong. Jack's performance was predictable, cliché, and frankly, rather pathetic. I saw something in him once, perhaps he still has it and he's not the corny, obnoxious, guy, he comes across as. If that's the case, then his manager should be fired for continuing to allow him to accept parts with terrible scripts. Either way, whether it's terrible acting or terrible writing, I am done with Jack Black!

As for the film, it too was obnoxious and unbelievable. The premise that attendance at a reunion matters much to anybody was a tough sell. The dialogue between Dan and Lawless was completely absurd. the relationship between each of the characters was scripted with no sense of reality, and the entire thing seemed forced. It was as if the script was written by pulling ideas from a hat and then stringing them together with disregard for logic or reason. Such a concept for a comedy is not unheard of. You can play fast and loose with logic when a film is funny and the acting is good. Sadly, this film was lacking both humor and great acting and instead offered an awkward depiction of a completely unrealistic situation that dragged on for an hour and forty minutes and left me full of nothing more than regret for choosing to watch it.

If there is anything good to come from this film it's that it ends with Jack doing calisthenics and martial arts on the beach. Judging from the extra curves on Jack in this film, maybe that did him some good...
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7/10
What's this?
kosmasp30 April 2016
DrtBlvd a user here, has an interesting view on this movie and one personally think and can stand behind too. I hadn't read anything about this, neither had I seen the trailer. So I had no idea what this would be about. I actually thought based on the cover this would be something along the lines of "School of Rock". It couldn't be farther away if it tried (though I can't say for sure if it wasn't the intention anyway to be as far away from a comedy like that in the first place).

Jack Black has some of his usual shticks, but it's more than that. It has themes about self identity, about growing up and especially about being who you are and not seeking being someone you are not. In the end we are all heroes (in our own story). Maybe it takes a movie like this to realize it for some, maybe some find it redundant. Whatever the case, this is entertaining, but also raises some interesting thoughts and questions ... but yeah the ending was a bit rushed ...
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1/10
Worst movie of all time.
pdillon-8417626 August 2015
I am slightly disappointed that I can not reward this pathetic excuse for a movie a 0/10, It's genre lists comedy. At no point did i even consider laughing. I know that all of the politically correct readers are going to scream "HOMOPHOBE" at me. But the fact is this movie simply has a rotten story line. It is shallow and frankly So boring that i had to convince myself to stay until the end thinking no movie could possibly be this bad and maybe i was going to miss the big funny twist.. oh my god how wrong i was. surely none of the actors read the script?? Do yourself a massive favor and miss this one. this movie is so bad i actually decided to create a IMDb account just to express this opinion . thanks for your time.
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7/10
Wow! That was hilarious!
subxerogravity11 May 2015
Way beyond my expectations.

Jack black was nothing but hysterical. Honestly could not stop laughing at him.

James Marsden make a fantastic side kick to Black's fantastic performance.

Another great Jack Black movie written by Mike White who also wrote School of Rock.

Black plays the head of his 20 year high school reunion committee who after seeing one of his classmates, Oliver lawless played by Marsden in a national TV commercial, weaves a very tangled web to get the coolest guy in the school to come to the reunion so he can be a hero but his quest turns out a little disastrous.

This movie impressively went places I did not expect and turn out some real funny results that change how I see Bromance movies forever.

This one you got to see.
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1/10
This is What Happens When The Snowflakes Take Over
lord_greybro18 April 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Wow! I mean WOW this movie was so heavy handed with it's agenda it nearly broken my head off of my shoulders. Yes, we get it, Hollywood hates family values almost as much as it hates the TRUMP administration, almost! Hey if you want to make a pro bisexual, pro early teen promiscuity stinker, that's your business Mr Hollywood director, but why disguise it as a happy go lucky family comedy?

To Jack Black you beautiful, talented bastard, if Hollywood told you that it would be really cool to go chop off your unit and live life as a woman because, well heck all the kids are doing it, would you do it? I'll never look at your work the same now so....thanks for that.

That's really all I can say about this piece of excrement. If you want to be grossed out while waiting desperately for something actually funny to show up that never really arrives, by all mans watch this film.
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7/10
Oh, what a tangled web we weave
Ramascreen10 May 2015
The problem with this film is that by now I'm kind of exhausted, straight up tired of watching Jack Black playing a character who spins so much lies, it becomes a tangled web he's woven situation, tired of watching Jack Black's character claiming to be somebody he's not. It was great in "School Of Rock" but then another round in "Gulliver's Travels" and now this. That said, nobody could do this type of lying better than Jack Black.

THE D TRAIN, from writing/directing team Jarrad Paul and Andrew Mogel, stars Jack Black as a high school reunion committee self appointed leader named Dan Landsman who the audience could figure out instantly, didn't have a great high school experience. He has trouble trying to get his old classmates to come to the reunion and even his own committee thinks he's a loser. When all of a sudden, he watches a commercial featuring one of his graduating classmates, Oliver Lawless, played by the heartthrob James Marsden. Dan (Jack Black) concocts a plan to go to Los Angeles to convince Oliver (Marsden) to attend their reunion so that he could score cool points with the others. But not ever goes smoothly as planned, Dan comes up with a fake deal to try and get his boss to fund his travel but his boss (Jeffrey Tambor) is so eager and excited about the prospect, he decides to tag along.

Some of us liked our high school experience, but for the majority, people would probably say that they're glad to be out of there, life starts in college after all. Jack Black's character represents anybody who wishes they could press the reboot button on their adolescence. His character is not only insecure but feels like nothing else, not even his own son is as important as his pursuit of coolness among his peers. Whereas James Marsden's character profoundly represents people's misconception about show business. People often associate it with glamor, fame and fortune, and to a certain extent, that may be true, but many of the people traveling to L.A. and try their luck, only end up doing small gigs and waiting tables while waiting for their big break at the same time; a big break that may never happen. So these are two very sad individuals who lie to themselves and lie to the people around them. I have to give kudos to Jack Black and James Marsden because there is one particular sequence that you wouldn't see coming, some of you would probably, but it goes to show how professional Black and Marsden are, what they're willing to do and how far they're willing to go for the sake of the story. And that particular scene sets off a chain of events that lead to the climax and self realization. But again, seeing Jack Black in this type of role, is nothing new, but I guess this is his niche, his field of expertise. Overall, I think THE D TRAIN is a dark comedy that doesn't necessarily slap you in the face and tell you to snap out of it, that it was just high school for heaven's sakes, but it does have its own silly way of unburdening yourself from all the lies.

Read more at Ramascreen.Com
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Not a fun comedy, a sad, PC agenda movie
cdpmedia17 November 2015
Warning: Spoilers
If these things don't bother you this movie is for you:

1) Falling for a trailer promotion about a reunion comedy with great comedy actors then being surprise attacked with story entirely driven by PC dogma and a acceptance agenda 2) Seeing one of your favorite kid-comedy actors (Black) snort coke all night, making out with a guy then graphic fornication. 3) Finding humor in cheating on a wife and son who love you and defrauding a boss who respects, trusts and supports you 4) Seeing a 14 year old son being graphically coached on how to have a sexual 3 way with 2 girls. 5) Helping this industry advance their agenda and utopian mission of redefining acceptable behavior- those here being the most virtuous of all. Had the plot been promoted without deception and simply had Black uncovering his own sexual preferences be it through lust or love we could have tolerated it. The marketing of this movie is nothing more than a trap to force you through an agenda piece. Sad. If this doesn't sound like your kind of entertainment, move on!
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1/10
One fo the 5-worst movies of my lifetime, no redeeming value at all!
iamjamalwhite11 July 2019
Wow - this was a stink-bomb. The studio said it cost $3,000,000 to make and brought in $540,000. The reviews are things like "worst movie in Jack Black's list of bad movies" and "unfunny and unpleasant fails on all counts" and "disagreeable" and "The D TRAIN is as morose and ill-tempered as its protagonist but in the movie's case, the self-loathing is well-earned." The marketing fail is the movie is advertised as a Jack Black teen comedy about a class reunion while doing a bait and switch to a NAMBA commercial that pushes all that is bad about that lifestyle choice. Unwatchable trash. This is the low-point of all these actor's careers. In fact, several of them don't even allow it to be listed on their IMDB list of movies and two have sued to have their names removed from the credits on the DVD! Run in the other direction!
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9/10
Different - but that's a good thing! Delicate, original and fun
supermaggie3 November 2016
Warning: Spoilers
To say it plain and simple: I enjoyed this movie. I am shocked (not by the movie but) by all the negative comments. I thought that Jack Black was great in it -not that he isn't great in his other movies (Kings of Rock- grrreat!), but I think it is because there was a bigger depth to this character than most of his other movies), D-Train does not reach the greatness of Black's Orange County or Shallow Hal (both superb movies!), but it was a fresh and entertaining look at midlife crises and Highschool reunions. James Marsden stars as Black's equally great counterpart, i really liked him in this maybe morally a bit deviant but likable role - in the end his character is not a mean guy, but actually (and sadly) just pretty lost. Sure, the movie was not the obvious alumni meeting movie/what I expected, but this is a good thing. I was afraid it was gonna turn out as something about long-kept jealousy and some only rooster in the yard clinch, but fortunately it wasn't. It was a delicate, tender story about life choices, desire for friendships, attention and recognition, and coming to terms with your place in life. And done in a very entertaining, funny, original way. I did not see the turns and twists coming, but they did not shock but entertain and enjoy me. Come on, it also features the great Kathryn Hahn and cultish 80ies music - gotta love that! I only felt bad for the nice boss, Bill, but if I understood the ending right, this side story ended well, too. So give it a shot, be prepared for something different and enjoy!
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7/10
Comedy with some serious undertones
Finfrosk866 September 2015
I was a little surprised by this movie, because it had some layers that I didn't really expect. Now, I can't go into much detail about these layers, because I want to be totally spoiler free, but they are there.

The D Train is listed as a comedy, but I think it's more of a comedy/drama, because, like I said, it's not all silly fun. The comedy is often silly, it is Jack Black after all, but when it is serious, it is serious. I kind of felt for Jack Blacks character. He does some dumb stuff indeed, but he is also tossed into a couple of situations he doesn't know quite how to tackle. (here those aforementioned layers comes to play)

I don't laugh that easily, so when I watch a comedy I first and foremost want to be entertained, not laugh. And I was entertained by this movie. It did make me chuckle a couple times too, though.

I think part of the reason for this movies relatively low score (here on IMDb) is exactly that it is not a clean comedy, and definitely not a clean drama, it falls between two chairs, and maybe some are confused by that. We do love to define stuff, don't we? Us humanoids that is. Yes we do.

Anyway, it's an alright movie with some heart, some drama and some goofiness. Not your worst, not your best.
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1/10
The title "The D Train" gives this movie WAY too much credit.
CleveMan668 May 2015
"Every reunion needs a hero" is the tag line for "The D Train" (R, 1:27). I would put it another way. "Everyone at a reunion needs to be a hero". At a high school reunion, everyone wants to be perceived as successful. Movies have been made about the phenomenon. "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" (1997) tells such a tale in an exaggerated (and entertaining) way. But most people don't go as far as insisting that they invented "Post-Its" to impress their former classmates. Most people are content with just being seen as better than they were in high school. The popular kids want people to think they're still cool (if not cooler), the jocks are hoping to milk just a little more glory from their adolescent accomplishments, the nerds want to seem cool (but would settle for rich) and those who were awkward in high school (approximately 100% of us) just want to come across as a little less awkward. Everyone wants to be something of a hero to someone else at that reunion. The irony is that most of us are still basically the same people we were in high school. The happy ones are those who are now okay with that and the truly successful ones are not those who impress the most people, but the ones who've managed to become better versions of their teenage selves. "The D Train" explores the disconnect between high school reunion expectations and results, as well as the differences between perception and reality – and the dangers of going too far to be a hero.

Jack Black stars as the title character, the guy in search of a little high school redemption – and a cool nickname, a la the title of the movie. Black, as Dan Landsman, is a family man who is not as wise, well-adjusted, or cool as he thinks he is, or at least, tries to be. He butchers the semi-modern lingo, stumbles through his responsibilities as a husband and father and as an employee, and longs to seem more put together than he was in high school. He thinks that serving as the self-appointed head of his 20th reunion committee will help him with that last part. If he can make his reunion a success, then maybe, just mayyyybe, it would mean that he's a success. The problem is that, in pursuit of his goal, he runs roughshod over the other reunion committee members (including Mike White, Henry Zebrowski and Kyle Bornheimer), neglects his son, Zach (Russell Posner), takes his wife, Stacey (Kathryn Hahn), for granted and endangers the business built by his trusting and tech-challenged boss, Bill (Jeffrey Tambor).

Dan jeopardizes everything truly important in his life by putting all his RSVPs in one basket – believing that more people will agree to attend the reunion if he can get a "yes" from Oliver Lawless (James Marsden), the erstwhile most popular kid in school and now, an L.A. actor with one national TV ad campaign to his credit. Dan lies to his boss about a possible game-changing business opportunity in Los Angeles, so he has an excuse to go there and meet up with Lawless. The left coast cool guy doesn't even remember the schlub from high school, but agrees to get together anyway. To the surprise of both men, they get along great! They have an awesome time partying with booze and cocaine and doing… other stuff that Dan will come to regret. Back home in Pittsburgh, the reunion committee prepares for the triumphant return of the great Oliver Lawless, but Dan starts to wonder if he's created a monster, even as he grapples with the implications of everything that happened in LA-LA Land.

As cool and/or interesting as this film might sound at this point, there's just one problem – it's almost indescribably awful! The movie is so unfunny that I actually had to check IMDb.com to make sure the film was indeed billed as a comedy. What is apparently meant to be humorous is just plain awkward. Every character, every subplot, every situation and every scene is cringe-inducing. The "Romy and Michele" movie dealt with the natural awkwardness of a reunion and the experience of reliving high school memories through amusing characters, some pretty good jokes and even a heartfelt lesson or two. You get none of that in "The D Train".

What you do get from writer/directors Andrew Mogel and Jarrad Paul is a movie filled with unlikeable characters, teenagers who cuss as much as their parents and who feel free to engage in some very adult activities (even being encouraged to do so by some of the so-called adults in the movie) and so many non-sensical actions from Dan that I was starting to wonder if Black's character was supposed to be mentally ill. Now, an arrogant and rude reviewer might take this opportunity to say that YOU would have to be equally mentally ill to enjoy this movie, but I wouldn't say that. Seriously. Reactions to movies are subjective and everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. I'll just say that I wish this movie had taken place in New York City. Then I'd be telling you that I wish I could get off the D-train and hop on the F-train, because that's what this movie deserves. Well… it looks like I just said it anyway. And I meant it! "F"!!
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