- Archie Cleary: [Whispering] Are you flirting with a nun?
- Joel Maisel: [Smiling widely and talking out the side of his mouth] She's flirting with me.
- Archie Cleary: Nuns don't flirt.
- [He hisses]
- Sister Clementine: Do you like Honey in your tea?
- [She asks with a flirtasous tone]
- Archie Cleary: Holy shit, she is.
- [He says stunned as Joel smiles pleased with himself and the situation]
- Gordon Ford: [In a teasing tone] Pardon me, miss, but could I get your autograph as well?
- Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: [Shocked to see her boss outside her show] Well, as I live and breathe. I didn't know you came downtown.
- Gordon Ford: I try not to, but they sell the best smack on that corner right over there.
- [He jokes, pointing to the nearby street corner]
- Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: Ah!
- [She laughs]
- Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: I am not going on a date with you.
- Gordon Ford: Fine. We'll just start sleeping together. Personally, I'll miss the romance, but, you know, I'll take what I can get.
- Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: [Shaking her head, as she folds her arms] Gordon. Gordon.
- Gordon Ford: Just once then. We'll do it up nice. Penthouse at the Carlyle; champagne, robes and slippers for after, or during, whatever the lady wishes.
- [She smiles into her coffee at this attempt at seduction as he continues]
- Gordon Ford: A kiss? One... Really Terrific kiss?
- [Midge shakes her head]
- Gordon Ford: Come on, you got to at least let me redeem myself on that front. I'm a much better kisser off the ice.
- Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: This is not a date.
- Gordon Ford: Oh, you're telling me. There's a guy actively dying in the corner over there.
- Gordon Ford: Nice set by the way.
- Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: You saw my set?
- Gordon Ford: I did.
- [Nodding]
- Gordon Ford: I bought a ticket and everything.
- Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: [Looking at him incredulously] They made you buy a ticket?
- Gordon Ford: [With a chagrin smile] Ah, I haven't paid for a ticket in ten years,
- [holding up his hand defensively]
- Gordon Ford: but I would have, which I think counts for something.
- Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: I have never seen you out of a suit.
- Gordon Ford: And I was expecting you to be in full pirate regalia.
- [Referring to her piracy charges]
- Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: It's my parrot's night off.