- Meg Griffin: I totally hit it off with this great guy on the internet. And we're finally going to meet.
- Stewie Griffin: Ok, remember to ask question about him. Seem interested. Listen, giggle, swallow.
- Lois Griffin: Since it's Valentine's Day, I was thinkin', let's should do something we've never done before.
- Peter Griffin: Release the virus?
- John Herbert: Hey there, Chris. Happy Valentine's Day. Hope Cupid brings you a saggy old bag of treats.
- Brian Griffin: Oh, you want honest? You're an old bag. You're blind. Your vomit tastes weird. You don't even know why you're here. You chose to be on The Hills. You still have bits of penis left. And you can never get wet.
- Mayor McCheese: Hey, hey, Carol. I almost didn't recognize you without my special sauce all over your face.