Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014)

Naomi Watts: Lesley

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jake : Oh my gosh! How do you know Mike Shiner?

  Lesley : We share a vagina.

• Lesley : Why don't I have any self respect?

  Laura : You're an actress, honey.

• Jake : Ask me if he sells tickets.

  Riggan : Does he sell tickets?

  Jake : A shitload of tickets! Now ask me if the critics like him?

  Riggan : Do they like him?

  Jake : They want to spooge on him.

  Riggan : [Indicating there's a lady in the room]  Hey.

  Jake : Lesley...

  Lesley : Right on his face.

• Lesley : I'm pathetic. You know, I've dreamt of being a Broadway actress since I was a little kid. And now I'm here. And I'm not a Broadway actress. I'm still just a little kid. And I keep waiting for someone to tell me I made it.

  Laura : [Sincerely]  Hey. You made it.

  Lesley : I did?

  Laura : Sadly it was with Mike Shiner, on a fake motel bed.

• Lesley : Mike's available.

  Riggan : I thought he was doing the thing...?

  Lesley : He was. He quit... or got fired.

  Riggan : Which is it, quit or fired?

  Lesley : Well, with Mike it's usually both.

• Mike Shiner : Lesley?

  Lesley : What?

  Mike Shiner : I think I'm hard.

  Lesley : No, you're not. It's just that sometimes you don't consider other people's feelings, that's all.

  Mike Shiner : No, no, no. I'm getting hard. Feel that.

• [Mike got an erection on stage and actually wanted to have sex] 

  Lesley : You've got to be shitting me. You can't get it up in six months, and now you want to fuck me in front of 800 strangers?

• Lesley : [after accidentally bad-mouthing Sam in front of her]  How is it that you always manage to find a new way to humiliate me?

  Mike Shiner : Oh, to be fair, you make it really easy.

• Lesley : What are you doing?

  Mike Shiner : I'm waiting on Larry.

  Larry : I'm finished.

  Mike Shiner : Then I'm just standing with my cock out.

  Lesley : Well, get dressed. Riggan's daughter's hanging around, and I don't need her to...

  Mike Shiner : Lesley?

  Lesley : ...walk in here. No, Mike, you haven't seen her. She's always hanging around, watching everyone, like Little Miss Creepy.

  Mike Shiner : Mm-hmm. Les?

  Lesley : I don't know if it's the drugs that fried her brain or what, but I just don't want her running to her father saying you showed her your junk.

  Mike Shiner : Then we should ask her to leave.

  Lesley : [mortified]  Oh, god. Really?

• Lesley : [about Mike]  He's such an asshole.

  Laura : What'd he do now?

  Lesley : Oh, nothing. He just tried to *fuck* me in front of an entire audience.

  Laura : Oh, my god.

  Lesley : Right?

  Laura : That's kinda hot!

• Lesley : [Laura looks as if she is about to kiss Lesley]  What are you doing?

  Laura : Nothing.

  [Laura kisses Lesley] 

  Lesley : Do it again.

• Lesley : Mike's like my 5 year old son. Neither of 'em has clean underwear.

  Larry : Or pubic hair, I imagine.