Rupert Ruxin: Wha--what the heck's the matter?
Ruxin: What the heck's the matter? Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's the idea of you proposing somehow genetically leapfrogging over me into my wife?
Rupert Ruxin: It would be yours. Your wife would...
Sofia: It would be your brother and your son.
Ruxin: Oh, it would be my brother AND my son?
Sofia: Yeah.
Rupert Ruxin: Isn't that a double joy, perhaps?
Sofia: Look, I think it is very generous, but I would be very uncomfortable with artificial insemination. Because I want a child conceived out of love.
Rupert Ruxin: Might I suggest, alternatively, that you make use of my sperm, and I would deliver it in the more personal and traditional, fleshy and non-technological way?
Ruxin: WOW!
Rupert Ruxin: What's the matter?
Ruxin: Oh, THAT'S what your offer is? TO have sex with my wife.
Rupert Ruxin: Who doesn't want more grandchildren?
Ruxin: How much time have you spent with Geoffrey since you've been here?
Rupert Ruxin: He's away at camp, isn't he?
Ruxin: In the dead of winter?
Rupert Ruxin: Skiing camp? Or was it hockey camp or curling camp or something?
Sofia: He's sleeping.
Rupert Ruxin: He is? Well, I'm gonna pop my head in immediately. I love that little tyke.
Ruxin: I'm sure you would LOVE to pop your head in immediately.
Rupert Ruxin: I don't know what you're getting at, but anyway...
Ruxin: I think you do know EXACTLY what I'm getting at.
Sofia: Hey, I'm not shocked about this. This is how Pablito was conceived.
Ruxin: Let's talk about Pablito.
Sofia: I have a distant cousin, and her husband's father offered the same thing, and...
Ruxin: Just to clarify who Pablito is, he's got a hearing problem and he's under four feet tall. Best case scenario, is he's a middling jockey.
Sofia: I know how badly you want this child.
Rupert Ruxin: Your hands are moving like a praying mantis, and your head looks like a candy apple.
Sofia: No one's saying it's gonna be done. Just consider.
Rupert Ruxin: Listen to your darling wife. There's a problem here, I'm just trying to insert a solution.
Ruxin: All right, enough! Enough. I'm done. I'm done with this, ok? You will not have sex with my wife, and--what-what is this now? And my--my team lost! And I'm in The Sacko.
Rupert Ruxin: Off he goes like some child. I guess a fantasy game is more important than this. Hey, I hope you do win that last place trophy, at least you'll have one healthy scrotum in the house!