- Bryan Collins: It's just so exciting there's going to be a baby in the world with hopes and dreams... and Swarovski crystals.
- Goldie Clemmons: What's wrong with the bus?
- Bryan Collins: Honey, the only people who take the bus are high school dropouts, single moms and bottle blondes.
- Goldie Clemmons: You literally just described me.
- Goldie Clemmons: Nana has a gift for you.
- Jane Forrest: It's just baby clothes. I love buying baby clothes. I've had a lot of practice with Shania and Goldie and Goldie's mom... and now your little abomination.
- David Sawyer: I need to learn to celebrate the wins. Like when we heard that heartbeat yesterday? I don't think I have ever loved you more. Because that - that was the sound of our family.
- Bryan Collins: Thanks for your intolerance, and your bigotry, and for fostering this ignorance in another generation. And for bringing back the fanny pack.
- David Sawyer: Okay, impact of that line fell short because you're still wearing a beanie on your head.
- Goldie Clemmons: Where's Bryan?
- Goldie Clemmons: I'll check by the scarves, you check by the mirrors.
- Jane Forrest: You know, if you boys wanted a baby so badly, why didn't you just order up one of those pretty little unwanted Chinese girls for delivery?
- Jane Forrest, Bryan Collins: [in unison] With six, you get eggroll.
- [mutual reassessment of each other]
- Jane Forrest: I imagine you gays have wine.
- Bryan Collins: Barrelsful.
- Jane Forrest: [looks heavenward] God forgive me.