- Jake Harper: [eating pizza in graduation caps and gowns] Man, I did not think Jeremy was ever gonna stop talking.
- Eldridge Mackelroy: Yeah. That guy really puts the 'dict' in 'valedictorian'.
- Jake Harper: He thinks he's so great, just 'cause he's goin' to Harvard.
- Eldridge Mackelroy: Where is Harvard, anyway?
- Jake Harper: Didn't you learn anything in High School? It's the capitol of Connecticut.
- Eldridge Mackelroy: Are you sure?
- Jake Harper: Yeah. Harvard, Connecticut. What'd you think was the capitol of Connecticut?
- Eldridge Mackelroy: 'C'
- [he giggles as he holds up his hand in the shape of the letter 'C']
- Jake Harper: You're an idiot. I don't know why I hang out with you.
- Eldridge Mackelroy: 'Cause you're gay.
- Jake Harper: Well, then, what does that make you?
- Eldridge Mackelroy: Attractive.