Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 (TV Series)
The Leak... (2013)
Krysten Ritter: Chloe
Photos
Quotes
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June Colburn : [explaining that she and James's gay manager became friends] We meet for pedicures once a week now.
Chloe : Oh, that's so sweet. Has his cycle linked up with yours too?
June Colburn : See, that is why Luther doesn't like you, because you're so rude. Why would he do anything for you when you're such a bitch to him?
Chloe : [sarcastic] Oh, I get it! So, if I'm nice to Luther, he'll give me access to James. June, that's the first helpful thing you've ever said to me.
[June remembers earlier incident, Chloe didn't close the toilet door behind her]
Chloe : So, if I close the bathroom door, then it is like a little sanctuary? June, that is the first helpful thing you've ever said to me.
[but Chloe didn't care, June closed the door]
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Chloe : [in street] Okay, I'm back.
[disapproving of woman June is chatting to about umbrella]
Chloe : Bye, Murder She Wrote.
[hustles June away]
June Colburn : [to woman:] Stay dry.
[to her demanding friend:]
June Colburn : Chloe, what the hell...? Why can't you just be friendly?
Chloe : Because friendly is a waste of time.
[mimicking, ridiculing:]
Chloe : "Hey, how are you, I'm great, how are you, I'm great," back and forth until you die.
June Colburn : Friendly is not a waste of time. Friendly has gotten me 700 friends on Facebook, one in each of the fifty states, three in Guam. I always know what is going on in Guam.
Chloe : Please. Those people are all fake.
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June Colburn : [first lines, as Chloe seems to be doing handicraft] What are you doing?
Chloe : Mother's Day card. I like to make my own. Tell her how I really feel.
[what she has done so far, reads: Dear Mom, Stop...]
James Van Der Beek : [entering, really peeved] Well, Dean Cain's a fricking hero. It's all over the Internet.
[takes command of Chloe's laptop]
James Van Der Beek : A mobile grooming van caught on fire, and Dean saved every single dog inside.
[flips on the images]
Chloe : [as if offended] Even the poodles?
James Van Der Beek : Yeah. What an attention-whore.
June Colburn : [looking at screen] Oh no! There's a dead body underneath that tarp!
[on-screen, dogs yap, young woman goes "Dean Cain!"]
June Colburn : Oh, it's just puppies! Ooooh!
James Van Der Beek : First, he's Superman on TV. Now, he's Superman in real life. How am I supposed to compete with that on Dancing With The Stars?
[slams laptop shut]