- Robin Scherbatsky: [Ted and Robin talk about his confrontational skills, or lack thereof] I disagree. It's like Sun Tzu said, "Never give up. Never surrender."
- Ted Mosby: That's Tim Allen from Galaxy Quest!
- Ted Mosby: You know what Robin? Been thinking about it, guess it's kind of nice you're such a badass.
- Robin Scherbatsky: It's pretty badass you're so nice Ted.
- Barney Stinson: Come on Robin, it's my penis we're talking about! You've seen her, she's magnificent!
- Robin Scherbatsky: She?
- Barney Stinson: Every penis is a girl Robin. Everyone knows that, like ships... and lake monsters.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Sometimes in life you have to be assertive and stand up for yourself.
- Ted Mosby: You called her a whore!
- Robin Scherbatsky: Who wears that much make up?
- Ted Mosby: Old ladies!
- Robin Scherbatsky: Robin: Who take money for sex, exactly!
- Marshall Eriksen: Marshall: Come on lay some of that classic Scherbatsky mean son of a bitch on me. Treat me like I'm a girl scout trying to sell you cookies!
- Robin Scherbatsky: Four dollars a box and you're out of thin mints? You green little... I don't do that!
- Ted Mosby: I'm not gonna let that guy push me around! I believe it was Sun Tzu who wrote "Never give up. Never surrender.".
- Lily Aldrin: Shut up, Ted.
- Ted Mosby: Okay.