- Malory Archer: And then you almost got everyone killed, and then...
- Mr. Moto: Almost nothing. I'll kill you all right now!
- Malory Archer: Do you mind? I'm trying to parent!
- [Shoots at Moto]
- Malory Archer: That was for Pearl Harbor!
- Doctor Krieger: Press that red button.
- Sterling Archer: I- wait. Is it going to kill everybody?
- Doctor Krieger: Press that blue button.
- Sterling Archer: [after watching the demo video for his new Dodge Challenger] It makes the Mach Five look like a vagina!
- Sterling Archer: [In a deadlock with George] Wait, wait, wait! Stop! Do you hear that?
- George Spelvin: Hear what?
- Sterling Archer: That crunching noise?
- [Headbutts and breaks George's nose]
- Sterling Archer: [Caressing his new Dodge Challenger] Ohhh, I can feel it. I can feel your power. What's that? You want me inside you?
- Malory Archer: Sterling!
- Sterling Archer: You know my name?
- Malory Archer: STERLING!