Community (TV Series)
Origins of Vampire Mythology (2012)
Alison Brie: Annie Edison
Photos
Quotes
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Britta Perry : I'm glad you guys are reacting this way. I need to be reminded that he's the worst man on earth, because if he comes through town and calls me, I will be there in five minute.
Shirley Bennett : I don't understand.
Britta Perry : Uh, André much?
Shirley Bennett : OK, I understand.
Annie Edison : I don't.
Britta Perry , Pierce Hawthorne : You will.
Jeff Winger : What's that mean?
Pierce Hawthorne : He's hung.
Britta Perry : Oh, God!
Shirley Bennett : Pierce, you're disgusting.
Pierce Hawthorne : Just like that I'm disgusting again.
[scoffs]
Pierce Hawthorne : I was one of the gang. It was in my hand.
Shirley Bennett : Sometimes, a woman meets a man that she just can't shake from her system no matter much she knows better. I lucked out with André, but God help me. As you all know, there's not a lot he couldn't get away with.
Jeff Winger : So what, Britta? You're in love with a guy who's named after a kickboxing vampire movie?
Troy Barnes : [pounds fist on table] A fantastic kickboxing vampire movie.
Britta Perry : No, I don't believe in love because of this guy...
[choking up]
Britta Perry : named after a kickboxing vampire movie.
Annie Edison : Oh, Britta!
Shirley Bennett : Oh, sweetie.
Troy Barnes : [under his breath to Abed] You wanna watch Blade tonight?
Abed Nadir : [under his breath] Yes.
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Britta Perry : Let me see if he called! I have a right to know! You're monsters! You're Hitlers! You're racist pedophiles! You're the opposites of Batman!
Troy Barnes : You don't know what that means.
Britta Perry : Gonna rip out your throats and eat your...
Annie Edison : Still think the lock was overkill?
[banging on locked door]
Troy Barnes : No.
Annie Edison : [mocking Troy] "There's phones in the refrigerator." It's you.
[doorknob rattles]
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Jeff Winger : I love that I have a locker now. All that wasted time going to my car for mid-afternoon wardrobe adjustments.
[Holds up a shirt on a hanger]
Jeff Winger : What do you think, hmm? Stick with what's working?
Annie Edison : You're gonna change your shirt?
Jeff Winger : Not if it's working.
Annie Edison : ...It's not working.
Jeff Winger : Yeah. You're right. I knew it.
[Takes his shirt off. Annie stares]
Female Student : [Passing by] I'll have what she's having.
Annie Edison : Hey, grow up, lady!
[Continues to ogle Jeff]
Britta Perry : [Running up to them] Annie!
Annie Edison : [Awkwardly tries to cover] His shirt wasn't working!
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Annie Edison : You weren't texting Blade, you were texting us. I switched Blade's number in your phone to mine.
Britta Perry : You tricked me?
Annie Edison : You tricked me! You ask for my help, you tell me I'm your sister, I do everything I can to make you hate this turd, and the first nice thing he says, and you're over him? Who hurt you? And why didn't it stick?
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Annie Edison : She's calling him?
Troy Barnes : She was born in the '80s. She still uses her phone as a phone!
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Britta Perry : [introspectively] I wonder.
[to the study group]
Britta Perry : I have an ex-boyfriend that travels with a carnival.
Annie Edison : [study group bursts into derisive laughter] I'm sorry, Britta. Some things are funny because they make no sense and that is *not* one of them.
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Pierce Hawthorne : How come I'm not best friends with anyone in the group?
Shirley Bennett , Annie Edison : Aw!
Shirley Bennett , Annie Edison : Don't patronize me.
Pierce Hawthorne : Oh.
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Britta Perry : Can you check my messages for me and tell me if he called?
Annie Edison : I don't think that's a good idea.
Britta Perry : What if my mother died?
Abed Nadir : You guys are really talking over Blade.
[Britta grabs the remote and pauses the dvd]
Troy Barnes : Not cool!
Abed Nadir : Annie, subdue your guest.
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Annie Edison : You two are bad friends! Bad.
Troy Barnes : That's unfair. What about you guys? Okay, you don't like our movie, we can't say the word "Blade," there's phones in the refrigerator. Oops.
[Britta, Annie and Troy race to the kitchen]
Annie Edison : Troy, Abed!
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Britta Perry : [Annie opens a drawer to check Britta's phone] Give it to me!
Annie Edison : That's right, Britta. It's a banana.
Britta Perry : Why is there a banana in your DVD cabinet?
Annie Edison : Read the banana, Britta.
Britta Perry : "You are a lying junkie."
Annie Edison : I'm sure those words hurt. But you wouldn't be reading them if they weren't true.
Britta Perry : I am so weak.
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Annie Edison : [phone buzzing] She's calling him?
Troy Barnes : She was born in the '80s. She still uses her phone as a phone.
Abed Nadir : Uh-oh.
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Annie Edison : She's whipped by an imaginary douche.
Dean Pelton : Hey, don't knock it till you try it.
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Britta Perry : I was texting with you guys this whole time? So Blade... isn't a loser!
[gasps]
Abed Nadir : Uh-oh.
Annie Edison : No, let her go. Lost cause, man.
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Annie Edison : I figured it out. I know exactly what to do. I'm just gonna be really, really, really mean to her.
Troy Barnes : Uh. What don't you get about the concept? Britta likes guys who are mean to her. She doesn't like herself. Give me the phone.
[Troy writes and sends text]
Annie Edison : What did you say?
Troy Barnes : Something nice. Don't worry about it. I'm deleting it from your phone.
[...]
Troy Barnes , Britta Perry : [Annie grabs Britta's phone and begins reading texts] What are you doing?
Annie Edison : I wanna know.
Britta Perry : Okay, I'm sorry. I was texting with Blade, but it's over now. He's... a loser.
[Annie glances at Troy]
Troy Barnes : [sadness fills Troy's eyes] Good night.
