The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Shiny Trinket Maneuver (2012)

Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bernadette Rostenkowski : It's obvious having kids is really important to you and I think I came up with a solution.

  Howard Wolowitz : Really? That's great. What?

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : Well, seeing as how I make way more money than you anyway, what if I worked and you stayed home with the kids?

  Howard Wolowitz : Me?

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : Yeah. You know, you watch Barney and pull Cheerios out of their noses and go on play dates, and I'll work and have conversations with people my own age and enjoy my life.

• Sheldon Cooper : Coins lodged in body parts is not a source of amusement. When I was five, Billy Sparks put a Mexican Peso up my nose.

  Howard Wolowitz : How is that not amusing?

  Sheldon Cooper : It's still there. Takes me 45 minutes to get through airport security.

  Howard Wolowitz : Look, I made Sheldon disappear, tada!

  Leonard Hofstadter : Next time you should open with that.

• Sheldon Cooper : Is this how you're going to entertain children, by lying to them?

  Howard Wolowitz : How is this lying?

  Sheldon Cooper : A magic show is an inherently deceitful proposition. "This is an ordinary tophat." "You've chosen that card freely." "I do not have a set of lock picks lodged in my keister."

  Raj Koothrappali : Can't you just enjoy the wonder, Sheldon? Why must you peek behind the curtain, or up the butt?

• Howard Wolowitz : Maybe me and Bernadette aren't right for each other.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Look, Howard, I'd say there's a lot of fish in the sea, but I watched you dangle your hook for years. Do not throw her back.

  Howard Wolowitz : I don't want to, but this is kind of a deal breaker.

  Raj Koothrappali : What will your mom say if you call off the wedding?

  Howard Wolowitz : Heh, it'll kill her. If I don't give her grandchildren, that'll kill her too. So either way on the Mom front, I'm golden.

• Debbie Wolowitz : I hope it fits! She has a tricky figure! She's short and stacked, like me!

  Howard Wolowitz : She's not stacked like you, Ma! She never steps on hers!