Haunted (2013) Poster

(II) (2013)

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2/10
Looks like Most Haunted, but there's no story
Leofwine_draca30 June 2016
MOST HAUNTED was a pseudo documentary programme following the adventures of a group of ghost hunters as they explored various haunted residences throughout the British Isles. As a show it enjoyed extraordinary popularity back in the day, seemingly from credulous viewers who were convinced that genuine ghostly encounters were being captured on tape when in fact all of it was faked.

HAUNTED is a found footage style horror film that's been designed to look EXACTLY like the MOST HAUNTED TV show. There's a presenter who looks and sounds like Yvette Fielding and even a medium who imitates Derek Acorah. I was never a fan of the TV series myself, but it looks gripping in comparison to this non-starter of a film. I appreciate that visually it's a match, but there's no story!

There's nothing here at all. Just a bunch of uninteresting characters chatting and repetitively talking about what they might or might not see. HAUNTED makes stuff like the GRAVE ENCOUNTERS movies look like masterworks in comparison; GRAVE ENCOUNTERS might be poor, but at least there's stuff going on, unlike in this slow and eventless movie. It's completely pointless, to say the least.
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1/10
About as scary as a trip to seaworld - Haunted Review (Contains Spoilers)
seanevansSmash4 September 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Haunted, a film Directed by Steven M Smith is an unusual addition to anyone's 'film' collection, as instantly you question whether this is even a film to begin with, the content is very documentary based, opening with factual accounts and a history of an abandoned railway museum. All of the opening shots are filmed in documentary format and this continues throughout the film even when found footage elements are introduced.

A TV crew will film a paranormal investigation and obtain evidence that proves we are not alone. Something Evil awaits them! They will all discover the truth, that we are not alone.

The above quote is taken directly from the synopsis on the website, contestants are invited to visit a haunted railway as part of the show of which they are filming, they are all packed into a limousine and taken to the event. The whole scenes within the limo following the group around SHOULD of been filmed by a professional camera and a professional cinematographer but it looks as thou the entire film has been shot on someone's mobile phone.

Budget constraints aside, decent camera's should of been used to document the entire film from introduction to the actual paranormal investigations, rather than Sony handycam's that cost £120. The only time still camera's are used is to document an almost news style report at the start of the film and a few segments in between. Using handycams this instantly brings us into frustrating territory of moving shaky pictures, blurred images, and camera operators with shaky hands. Very poor quality recording even for a documentary style shooting as you're watching a black screen for the duration, has anyone ever heard of night vision? Next the acting, now the contestants themselves are not in on the game, they are not aware of what's going on or what they have signed up too, however Jon our 'medium' gives the game away at every opportunity. The strategically placed actor in the movie is Jon Paul Gates a supposed 'medium' who describes what he is feeling and how strong a presence is in a particular area. I personally would of caught on very easily to this poor display as not only was the acting questionable, but his descriptions of certain ghosts and characters were so detailed that it was obvious they had been memorised from a script or prior knowledge. There is one scene where the ghost is apparently on top of Jon as he is weighed to the ground, I found this scene hysterical, I was literally crying with laughter of how poor he not only acted it out but how a ghost was piggy backing a ride around the railway yard.

For the first 30 minutes of the movie, the group have arrived, walked around some railway tracks and picked up some weird force that only Jon can feel yet no one around the group has even felt or experienced anything out of this world. Now Most Haunted the popular paranormal TV show would of thrust the audience into some action by now but for the opening 30 minutes of Haunted, nothing of the sort has happened, as it stands the documentary as I refuse to call it a film has displayed more history about the railways than anything remotely paranormal. Maybe a title change would be for the best? I am neither scared, nor intrigued at this moment in time, quite frankly I'm hoping this heats up and soon.

I feel as thou if this film was cut shorter, much shorter, with a voice over documentary style about where each group is going and what they are doing it would be much more easier to watch. Cut the best bits in, jump scares, certain happenings, instead of mundane walking around a railway yard, because as it stands I could grab a camera, head off out tonight and shoot an identical piece of footage, its neither scary nor intriguing. It needs to have production value and Haunted is really suffering from a lack of it as a result.

There is one event throughout the whole movie which is the main talking point and then the film has the audacity to kill people off towards the end after a whole run time of nothingness, no build up, no real meaning or reason why. It was basically like watching the worst episode of Most Haunted to find one of your group dead on the floor at the end of it, planned, boring and drawn out far too long.

Shorten the run time, have a voice over, documentary coverage and film, DON'T kill anyone off at the end with some cheesy fake characters who no one now believes and have a genuine vigil, no pranks or set ups and this could of been a cool little paranormal programme.

Sadly none of the above happened. What a shame. A few sequels are in the works, shorten the duration, fix the countless problems and maybe, just maybe show some true paranormal / experiences and I guarantee it will be more of a success !
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1/10
Come on
nicci197227 June 2020
I am a horror movie fan. I typically rate movies based on how good the plot is and how the actors are performing. This wasn't a horror movie, there was no plot and there were no actors. Just a bunch of people talking. This does not make a horror movie. This was a talk show. Very disappointing.
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1/10
One of the worst
zimmseth27 July 2021
One of the most slowest, unentertaining, boring, really bad "horror" movies I've ever seen. Truthfully, I damn near fell asleep watching this. Showgirls was a scarier movie than this. I want my 1hr 45 minutes back. Do yourself a favor and skip this like I should've.
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1/10
Terrible
vttmishere17 July 2014
If you like to see a bunch of people talking non-stop with British accent, then you might consider watching this. Nothing paranormal happens at all; the few things which are "supposed" to be paranormal are so hilarious that you'll just keep laughing. Plus, there's a fat guy in blue who is sooooo annoying! He can't stop talking for one second.

It upsets me how some people get funds and good locations to shoot - like this train station/museum - and are able to completely waste it all! Bad acting, poor - very, very, very poor - script and terrible visual/sound effects. If anything, "The Blair Witch Project" taught us that it isn't necessary to have lots of money, lots of actors nor effects to create an amazing atmosphere with a great story and growing suspense.
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1/10
Someone get that guy a cough drop!
m-skee6 May 2021
Warning: Spoilers
The "professional" camera man coughed the entire time!!! It was the most annoying freaking thing I have ever heard! It's worse that he's right on the mic! ARG!

Ok, now that I've got that (mostly) out of my system, now on to the rest.

1 hour and 22 minutes in NOTHING has happened. Just a group of supposed nonbelievers arguing over how whatever (non) scary thing just happened was staged, not staged, or didn't happen. They talk/argue about each incident for-freaking-ever. For example, is there a person standing off in the distance? (That one happened twice). Sadly we can't join the debate since we can't SEE a thing. It's pitch black any time they're outside. What you can see from the shaky handcam night vision are up close faces and backs of heads...sometimes.

At 1 hour and 35 minutes things start to happen. Many of the scenes are obviously edited in as they are from a better camera, scrambled a bit to try to make them blend in (fail). Someone (no clue who he is) gets killed and it's on camera but nobody seems to notice? He's killed by the "real" ghost mailman that the handheld shaky night vision cameras have focused on several times but nobody noticed!? The times he's caught on camera aren't the scary, out of the corner of your eye, there and gone appearances. No these are random 'focus on the guys face for 4-5 seconds as we all just sit there' types. Basically the exact opposite of scary (which is boring).

After a scream in the night our 'contestants', who've been calm till now, start to run around screaming, and a few are randomly killed within a 2 minute window. The already crappy film work gets even WORSE. It then cuts to the plump girl giving the "how you doin" eyes and smile to a ghost who eye flirts back aaaand end. What the actual fruck was that?!

It doesn't say if parts were a set up as we assume, it doesn't explain why ghosts who've never harmed anyone in 100 freaking years start killing. It doesn't show what happens to the other 10+ people who were there.

We got 90 minutes of an annoying documentary then 5 minutes of blurry night vision killings. Seriously WTF!? That was in addition to the annoying yet forgettable characters who just talk, talk, talk. Horrible "professional", handcam, and/or night vision camera work. Too dark to see scenes. NO plot. Sound quality so bad I could only make out half of what they were saying, and that was only when all of them weren't talking at the same time. NO scares. It simply made no sense. Even by low budget crappy horror film script standards this one sucks.

Yeah, so, I hated that movie.
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1/10
How!?!?
amymay-6991617 November 2023
Is it possible to have a film be so long,so boring,so irksome,so dark,and so grainy all at the same time!?!! All dialogue and no plot. And I hope you enjoy eighty eight different LITERAL shades of black and gray,because that is all that is visible for most of the second part of the movie. The vigil man scream made me laugh. One ten minute scene where they just talk about a girl walking past,dazed,and then falling. THEY SPENT TEN MINUTES TALKING ABOUT THIS BORING,RANDOM,ONE ACT!!! Another "terrifying" incident was "flashlight under face in window." I'm serious. This was supposed to be HORRIFYING,but was just cheesy and stupid. It's too late for me. I can't unsee this. But you have a choice. Save yourself.
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7/10
a good effort
mhills-883-70188829 December 2013
Liked the set up of this. The film-makers have used an existing TV theme-"Most Haunted" TV series- with a 3 man investigation team, comprising of a Presenter, Medium and a Historian, and applied it to a film setting, with a 'Blair Witch' style. Was intrigued with the setting an old Railway museum? Could have been much better with a bigger budget but I like the multi-camera style. It was real and I didn't get the impression the players were sticking to a formalised script so the dialogue was less clumsy and seemed to flow. The actor playing the Medium (Jon-Paul Gates)was particularly believable and certainly was not as irritating as Derek Acorah in "Most Haunted".
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