- Gus: I'm Gus, filling in for Vincent Price because he's dead, see? Here in Stoolbend, everyone's busy with my annual Broken Stool Pumpkin Carving Contest, sponsored by Harrison Gourds. Harrison Gourds: "Good lord, that's a good gourd."
- Rallo Tubbs: Getting dark, Cleveland. If you get scared, you can always bail early like you did at your sleepover.
- Cleveland Brown: Oh, and that's coming from Mr. "I'm five, I need my mommy."
- Donna Tubbs: [about her Halloween costume] It's the one time a year I get to dress up as Michelle Obama and it doesn't look like the creepy obsession that it is.
- Cleveland Brown: [about his Halloween costume] I am the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, the most fearless of all collegiate mascots.
- Cleveland Brown, Rallo Tubbs: I want to get the hell out of here, go home, order a pizza, watch "Yo Gabba Gabba" and go to bed.
- Roberta Tubbs: Oh, my God. The werewolf and vampire are gay!
- Anna: News flash! You know, Roberta, for the record, most gay people are not monsters.
- Frankenstein's Monster: [as he enters the party] But most monsters are gay!
- Donny: Time for my axe to make your body spray blood. Axe Body Spray?
- Cleveland Brown: I don't know what that is.
- Donny: Something the kids are using!