"Rindvieh à la carte" or "Trouble à la carte" is a German television movie from 2011, so this one will have its 10th anniversary next year already, but not before the end because this one here premiered back in December 2011. Now as for the title: I read the Italian and French titles and these may be pretty bad too, but nothing tops the German title in a negative sense. First of all because they want to sound exquisite with the French words (and also with the French song played early on), but it really backfires. What is even orse, however, is the very first word. This makes it obvious immediately what we can expect here. It is not uncommon at all that these movies shown in the afternoon here in Germany very frequently have a tendency to depict men as scum and I could tell a hundred (if not thousand) different ways why they do so, but in the end it all comes down to that they do not respect (their) women enough. A man cheats on a woman? He just could not hold his genital inside. A woman cheats on a man? The man did not show her often enough how much he loved her or she got a million dollars for that and can pay her man's cancer therapy this way. Just a random example, hardly exaggerated sadly. You get the message. This film here is not much different. The male protagonist is pretty flawed, while the female is a tough woman who runs a farm on her own. Now, something more about the basics: The screenplay is by Christiane Dienger and she has luckily only wrote four scripts according to imdb. Still four too many. This one here was her penultimate effort and if we are lucky, then she will never return in this profession after the seven-year hiatus she is still on. Director is Marcul Ulbricht and he has his 50th birthday this year and he is certainly more prolific. His body of work may not be 100% failure like his writer's here, but the majority of projects (such as Verbotene Liebe) is also nothing to be proud of. As for their lead actors: I cannot say too much about Schir. I don't like him in these almost 1.5 here and I am glad I have not seen a lot that includes him in the cast. Muriel Baumeister is definitely more famous. She was slightly under the age of 40 back then and now she is in her late 40s. I always thought that she is pretty stunning, so at least her looks don't hurt this movie. Nonetheless it must be said that she is not a good actress either, quality-wise on par with her male co-lead, which means at the bottom of the talent scale. There are quite a few moments when she really misses the mark. The best example are of course the more challenging moments, like when she has to act anger, once after the guy is out for the night and has too work the next day and on another occasion later on when she thinks he used her for his popularity. Then again, it must be said that all the actors here struggle because their characters are written so poorly. Still nobody forced them to accept these roles. Sadly this also applies to Stephan Grossmann, an actor I usually like, but his character here is a joke and not a good one that adds absolutely nothing except that we should understand the female protagonist has more suitors. Thank you, I can see Baumeister is attractive without him too. He is pretty much gone in the second half anyway. And not missed. Grossmann should have declined.
The fact that the two lead actors do not look entirely useless also has to do with the two actors who have most of the screen time next to them. Honestly, next to this guy who plays the lawyer, everybody would have looked okay I guess. So many cringeworthy moments about this character honestly. The best (i.e. worst) example is when the lawyer is happy for a moment and lets everybody see. The criinge was unreal in this scene. Of course, his reference when tehy go to court about how it is good that there is a female judge is unreal too, but then again this was 90% script. Or his final scene when he talks and talks and talks and Schir's character is just quiet. A for Baumeister's character's best friend: She is plain horrible too. The actress as well. Be it those moments when we find out she finds Schir's character also attractive or be it the moment when she threatens the man to not hurt her best friend or be it the scene at the end when she kises that French dude. This was a scene honestly that would have been the very worst in 90% of all other movies, but here it is just one of many scenes. Enough said. So I just mentioned that she liked the guy too. Same is true about Baumeister's character's daughter here. A real rebel and anti everything her mother does, but of course she likes the cook as well. He is such an amazing dude honestly, but hey let's not forget he is a Rindvieh too. Speaking of "Rindvieh", we see cows at the very beginning oof the movie. Okay, the film sacrifices storytelling for animal photography. Nothing to be proud of for a non-documentary, but nothing horrible either. ell, here it is horrible because the film quickly moved on to a cooking show on television where the male protagonist talks about exactly these animals in their meet form, later on talks about how calves are needed (only calves) for a certain meal. I don't think the writer even recognized the absurdity of these inclusions. It's like showing you a rabbit, then next day having it roasted on the table. By the way, they show a rabbit too early on. No particular reason only to make the audience forget how horrible of a film this one here is because they say "oooooh" look at that". I am sure the simple people out there, i.e. the easily influenced who believe Schweighöfer films are art and funny, really did so and dig this movie too. By the way, speaking of the daughter, the mother-daughter struggles about the parent chasing away all men was really shoddy execution of pseudo drama too. They want the audience to feel all these emotions, but they do nothing for it creativity-wise. What was Dienger thinking? Certainly not that she has no talent, but it is the truth.
Another quick reference on the male protagonist: Not only were all these scenes with the Asian guys complete nonsense, but also early on you could see that he has no integrity. He agrees to support a commercial or so for low quality noodles if they give him money for his dream. His own restaurant that is. People may say they can understand it because he needs the money to make it happen. I say he has no morals and does everything for money. What a likable guy. Really easy to cheer for him throughout the film. Especially with his cringeworthy cooking show early on. I know it was meant in an embarrassing way, but it is definitely as ironic as it gets that this film is calling other television programs out for how annoying they are. Unreal stuff. Then there is also the story with the old sick guy, who cannot remember his wife is deceased. This was actually really offensive to people who really suffer from dementia. The filmmakers should be ashamed to use such an idea only to show us that the male protagonist actually cares for people close to his heart. If this is their idea of shades in character writing and character development, then good night. Some of the moments were so bad that I had to laugh at them because the filmmakers actually took these moments seriously and not in a humurous manner the way one could think they did. The pseudo important soundtrack, be it the instrumental score or the songs used here, was also tough to stomach, at least with the images that went with it. If I was an artist featured in this film, I'd not give permission to use my music there. The promotion is not needed anyway because really not too many have seen this film and that was clear from day one, but hearing a song related to this mess of a movie can destroy it forever. Okay, to finish my review, I will also talk about something towards the end, namely the typical idea of how everything is in danger to fall apart after everything seems fine before that. This is a typical approach in so many movies before they of course give everybody the "desired" happy ending. Well, what can I say here. Seeing these photographers outside was pretty self-explanatory quality-wise (or lack thereof). Also ho the male protagonist knows and wants her to not open the door. Her reaction that he used her and played with her was pretty ridiculous too and what was even worse was the general idea that after his ban (not alloed to drive for a long time), his image was destroyed, so yeah finding him naked in bad (in the barn) with the woman who injured in this accident would totally make people think he is a good guy again and his reputation is fine again. It is just so stupid. Also how photos with a partner wouly make him more appealing again to the masses. It just makes no sense at all. So idiotic and this is not just something that is included here for a minute, but for half an hour or so at the very core of the film. This film never should have been made, let alone released. It's sad how people (mostly women, you can see from the title who the target group here is) can even think that this is an okay movie, let alone everything above that. Not sure there is any hope for those. If people simply stopped watching and caring, these films would no longer be made. But there's hundreds (if not thousands) like these here in Germany. Fittingly, even if he pushed his plan through with the cooking, she is 100% in charge seeing how she acts towards him. Some women surely loved it. The ones, who mistook this piece of garbage for a movie that is in favor of emancipation. Reality is it is the epitome of a film that tries to deliver in terms of a strong female character, but offers no creativity with it. The outcome is try-hard. As everything else about these slightly under 1.5 hours. Keep your distance. For your own good. I was happy when the closing credits rolled in. No, BECAUSE they rolled in.
The fact that the two lead actors do not look entirely useless also has to do with the two actors who have most of the screen time next to them. Honestly, next to this guy who plays the lawyer, everybody would have looked okay I guess. So many cringeworthy moments about this character honestly. The best (i.e. worst) example is when the lawyer is happy for a moment and lets everybody see. The criinge was unreal in this scene. Of course, his reference when tehy go to court about how it is good that there is a female judge is unreal too, but then again this was 90% script. Or his final scene when he talks and talks and talks and Schir's character is just quiet. A for Baumeister's character's best friend: She is plain horrible too. The actress as well. Be it those moments when we find out she finds Schir's character also attractive or be it the moment when she threatens the man to not hurt her best friend or be it the scene at the end when she kises that French dude. This was a scene honestly that would have been the very worst in 90% of all other movies, but here it is just one of many scenes. Enough said. So I just mentioned that she liked the guy too. Same is true about Baumeister's character's daughter here. A real rebel and anti everything her mother does, but of course she likes the cook as well. He is such an amazing dude honestly, but hey let's not forget he is a Rindvieh too. Speaking of "Rindvieh", we see cows at the very beginning oof the movie. Okay, the film sacrifices storytelling for animal photography. Nothing to be proud of for a non-documentary, but nothing horrible either. ell, here it is horrible because the film quickly moved on to a cooking show on television where the male protagonist talks about exactly these animals in their meet form, later on talks about how calves are needed (only calves) for a certain meal. I don't think the writer even recognized the absurdity of these inclusions. It's like showing you a rabbit, then next day having it roasted on the table. By the way, they show a rabbit too early on. No particular reason only to make the audience forget how horrible of a film this one here is because they say "oooooh" look at that". I am sure the simple people out there, i.e. the easily influenced who believe Schweighöfer films are art and funny, really did so and dig this movie too. By the way, speaking of the daughter, the mother-daughter struggles about the parent chasing away all men was really shoddy execution of pseudo drama too. They want the audience to feel all these emotions, but they do nothing for it creativity-wise. What was Dienger thinking? Certainly not that she has no talent, but it is the truth.
Another quick reference on the male protagonist: Not only were all these scenes with the Asian guys complete nonsense, but also early on you could see that he has no integrity. He agrees to support a commercial or so for low quality noodles if they give him money for his dream. His own restaurant that is. People may say they can understand it because he needs the money to make it happen. I say he has no morals and does everything for money. What a likable guy. Really easy to cheer for him throughout the film. Especially with his cringeworthy cooking show early on. I know it was meant in an embarrassing way, but it is definitely as ironic as it gets that this film is calling other television programs out for how annoying they are. Unreal stuff. Then there is also the story with the old sick guy, who cannot remember his wife is deceased. This was actually really offensive to people who really suffer from dementia. The filmmakers should be ashamed to use such an idea only to show us that the male protagonist actually cares for people close to his heart. If this is their idea of shades in character writing and character development, then good night. Some of the moments were so bad that I had to laugh at them because the filmmakers actually took these moments seriously and not in a humurous manner the way one could think they did. The pseudo important soundtrack, be it the instrumental score or the songs used here, was also tough to stomach, at least with the images that went with it. If I was an artist featured in this film, I'd not give permission to use my music there. The promotion is not needed anyway because really not too many have seen this film and that was clear from day one, but hearing a song related to this mess of a movie can destroy it forever. Okay, to finish my review, I will also talk about something towards the end, namely the typical idea of how everything is in danger to fall apart after everything seems fine before that. This is a typical approach in so many movies before they of course give everybody the "desired" happy ending. Well, what can I say here. Seeing these photographers outside was pretty self-explanatory quality-wise (or lack thereof). Also ho the male protagonist knows and wants her to not open the door. Her reaction that he used her and played with her was pretty ridiculous too and what was even worse was the general idea that after his ban (not alloed to drive for a long time), his image was destroyed, so yeah finding him naked in bad (in the barn) with the woman who injured in this accident would totally make people think he is a good guy again and his reputation is fine again. It is just so stupid. Also how photos with a partner wouly make him more appealing again to the masses. It just makes no sense at all. So idiotic and this is not just something that is included here for a minute, but for half an hour or so at the very core of the film. This film never should have been made, let alone released. It's sad how people (mostly women, you can see from the title who the target group here is) can even think that this is an okay movie, let alone everything above that. Not sure there is any hope for those. If people simply stopped watching and caring, these films would no longer be made. But there's hundreds (if not thousands) like these here in Germany. Fittingly, even if he pushed his plan through with the cooking, she is 100% in charge seeing how she acts towards him. Some women surely loved it. The ones, who mistook this piece of garbage for a movie that is in favor of emancipation. Reality is it is the epitome of a film that tries to deliver in terms of a strong female character, but offers no creativity with it. The outcome is try-hard. As everything else about these slightly under 1.5 hours. Keep your distance. For your own good. I was happy when the closing credits rolled in. No, BECAUSE they rolled in.
