The Upside (2017)

Kevin Hart: Dell Scott

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Dell Scott : You can have any girl you want, man. You rich and you available. What about this lady right here with all the botox? Y'all be perfect for each other. You can't move your body, she can't move her face.

• Yvonne Pendleton : Why do you need a signature?

  Dell Scott : I don't need a signature. My PO needs a signature. As a matter of fact, you should put your number down here just in case she wanna phone or check in. That way, it look like I did what I said I was gonna do. And if she asks, just say an extremely attractive candidate came in here, but y'all weren't looking for a supermodel.

  Yvonne Pendleton : I'm sorry, who might phone?

  Dell Scott : My PO.

  Yvonne Pendleton : PO?

  Philip Lacasse : [staring at Dell's eyes]  His parole officer.

  Dell Scott : What's that look about? Don't judge me. I ain't judged you.

• Dell Scott : You okay, man? I mean, does something else hurt?

  Philip Lacasse : It's my legs. It's the nerves. It's called neurogenic pain. It's like being on fire.

  Dell Scott : They don't give you nothing for that?

  Philip Lacasse : Different medications. It helps a bit. Not enough.

  Dell Scott : Hurt enough to make you wanna off yourself?

  Philip Lacasse : No. But losing my wife does.

  Dell Scott : I'mma help you.

• Philip Lacasse : Have you ever listened to opera?

  Dell Scott : Yeah. Opera's really big in prison. You can hardly get a seat on opera night.

• Dell Scott : So, let's say that I wanted to start my own company that you was gonna buy for a million.

  Philip Lacasse : I'd say, "what is your idea?".

  Dell Scott : I don't know.

  Philip Lacasse : What are you passionate about?

  Dell Scott : Women, sleeping. Sleeping with women.

  Philip Lacasse : Little difficult to monetize.

  Dell Scott : I got some friends that'd disagree with you.

• Dell Scott : I scare you?

  Yvonne Pendleton : Yes. Yes, you do, Mr. Scott. But not for the reasons you're implying. As powerful as Mr. Lacasse is... he is a vulnerable man. So, does it scare me to think of him in the wrong hands? Yes, it does.

  Dell Scott : Well, he don't seem to think these're the wrong hands. He picked them.

  Yvonne Pendleton : And why do you think he picked you?

  Dell Scott : Because I'm the best candidate.

  Yvonne Pendleton : Because you were the worst candidate. By far

• Dell Scott : You see, my dad was a artist.

  Philip Lacasse : He was?

  Dell Scott : Con. Con artist. I ain't never see him, though. Unless you wanna count the time we spent together in lockup. We was in prison together. Sweet, right? You know what he said when he saw me, man? He said, "welcome home." Can you imagine saying some shit like that to your kid? "Welcome home."

• Philip Lacasse : People make mistakes.

  Dell Scott : I don't know. I've made so many.

• Dell Scott : Look, I think your plantation is bananas. But unfortunately, I don't wanna be nobody's servant. So how about you just sign my paperwork, and I'll think about your offer, okay?

  Philip Lacasse : Well, we can't sign papers saying that you're looking for work if you're going to turn down the work I offered.

• Dell Scott : [trying to help Philip to breathe]  Ain't nothing extraordinary about breathing, man. P, you know damn well I need this gig. So, You take a deep breath or I AM gonna give you mouth-to-mouth.

  [Philip laughs and starts breathing] 

• Latrice : I'm done, Dell. I can't. Out. I don't wanna see you and neither do Anthony.

  Dell Scott : That boy need me. He need me to protect him, because people around here eat boys like that for lunch.

  Latrice : How you gonna protect him if you ain't never here?

  Dell Scott : You're asking me to leave.

  Latrice : Because I can't count on you.

  Dell Scott : What do you want from me? Hmm?

  Latrice : Now? Nothing. What did I want from you? Everything. Help, support.

• School Guard : Need a place to stay, yo?

  Dell Scott : Nah, I'm good.

  School Guard : Should get back in the game, man. I could use you. Easy money.

  Dell Scott : Nah, man. It was never easy.

• Dell Scott : [to Maggie]  I'm not putting a straw in that man's drink and I'm not unpacking his luggage.

• Philip Lacasse : Do you know about the DNR?

  Dell Scott : D and what?

  Philip Lacasse : DNR. Do not resuscitate. It's something you'll have to agree to as my carer. Do you understand what that means?

  Dell Scott : Like, I don't have to give you mouth-to-mouth if you're choking on your kumquat?

  Philip Lacasse : No extraordinary measures if I stop breathing. Nothing.

  Dell Scott : I'm good with nothing, man.

• Dell Scott : So, you have no idea what this woman looks like?

  Philip Lacasse : Nor she I Yes, she does.

  Dell Scott : What do you mean, "Nor she I"? What... What century are you in right now?

  Philip Lacasse : Look, I don't think you fully understand how an epistolary relationship works.

  Dell Scott : And I don't think you understand how a woman works.

• Dell Scott : You here for the cleaning gig?

  Guy in Elevator : Uh, life auxiliary.

  Dell Scott : Life what?

  Guy in Elevator : Auxiliary.

  Dell Scott : That's what they calling it now?

  [chuckles] 

  Dell Scott : White people got a name for everything.

• Philip Lacasse : Where's the Twombly?

  Dell Scott : You talking about the one that had the, uh, the red, squiggly lines on it?

  Philip Lacasse : Yes.

  Dell Scott : I took it down. I put it in the kitchen. Right next to the recycle bin.

• Dell Scott : Which car is yours?

  Philip Lacasse : All of these to the right.

• Dell Scott : You as rich as Jay-Z?

  Philip Lacasse : No. Richer.

  Dell Scott : Jeez.

  Philip Lacasse : Money doesn't buy you everything.

  Dell Scott : [sees Maggie entering the room]  Look like it does to me.

• Dell Scott : I'm Dell.

  Maggie : Maggie. The PT.

  Dell Scott : More like the PYT.

  [turns to Philip] 

  Dell Scott : Your wife okay with Victoria's Secret dressing you.

• Maggie : [to Dell]  I'll show you how to get Mr. Lacasse ready for the day.

  Philip Lacasse : [to Dell]  If you're not too busy.

  Dell Scott : No, me and Mags got this. Get to show her my sensitive side. It's best viewed unclothed and from behind. By Candlelight.

• Philip Lacasse : Did you know about this? Huh?

  Dell Scott : I'm sorry, P. I'm sorry you gotta have a surprise party in your huge mansion. You gotta get a bunch of expensive gifts from your rich friends. I'm sorry that you got a thoughtful executive. Some of us got real problems. I'm fighting to see my son.

  Philip Lacasse : Oh. I'm sorry, D. Is a single afternoon with your son not enough to repair the years of neglect?

  Dell Scott : Watch your mouth, man.

  Philip Lacasse : And whose fault is it that you can't see him?

  Dell Scott : Screw you. And screw your damn privilege, man.

• Philip Lacasse : Dell, how is that Ideal app coming?

  Dell Scott : You already said no to that.

  Philip Lacasse : Yes, I know I said no. But I would definitely say yes right about now.

• Dell Scott : [to Philip]  I can see you mentally tapping your leg, man. Relax, P. She gonna be here.

• Dell Scott : Apple don't fall far from the tree.

  [Latrice gives an unsatisfied look] 

  Dell Scott : You the tree in the story

  [Latrice smiles] 

  Dell Scott : .

• Philip Lacasse : I can only move my neck.

  Dell Scott : You can move your mouth.

  Philip Lacasse : As can you.

• Dell Scott : You ready?

  Philip Lacasse : Yeah.

  Dell Scott : All right, the safe word is gonna be... "Verdi."

  Philip Lacasse : [chuckles]  I'm supposed to drop "Verdi" into a sentence?

  Dell Scott : Yes. Like, "I'm gonna go. You are Verdi ugly."

  [both chuckles] 

• Dell Scott : Some animal has collapsed on your face, Phil.

• Dell Scott : You know baseball?

  Yvonne Pendleton : I do.

  Dell Scott : So you my referee?

  Yvonne Pendleton : Umpire.

  Dell Scott : Just testing you.

  Yvonne Pendleton : Yes, you are.

• Dell Scott : [to Lily]  Just have my guy back by midnight.

  [Lily laughs awkwardly] 

  Dell Scott : Midnight tomorrow at the latest.

• Dell Scott : It's a app that helps you find the closest weed. Hmm? It's called Find My Dealer. No, no, no. It's not that. It's... take that out okay? It's called iDeal.