- Paige Collins: Hello, Mr. Postman.
- Evan R. Lawson: Hi. So I'm the postman? All right, what does that make you? Are you the mail? Are you a dog? Am I trying to open you? Are you running after me? Just tell me what to do. What do- what do- what do I do?
- Paige Collins: For every sack of mail you go through, I will grant you a wish.
- Evan R. Lawson: [pulling the nearest pile of mail towards him] Discard. Discard. Keep. Discard.
- Paige Collins: Wow, you respond well to bribery.
- Evan R. Lawson: Yeah, Hank was the good son. Me? Not so much. My mom actually used to bribe me to do chores and homework with Zwix Sticky Stix. This is, uh, a lot better, by the way.
- Divya Katdare: I have made food for a feast. First entrée, lamb vindaloo.
- Evan R. Lawson: Ooh, sounds Indian.
- [Divya serves some to Hank]
- Evan R. Lawson: Looks Indian, too.
- [Divya serves some to Evan]
- Evan R. Lawson: Gosh, it smells...
- Dr. Hank Lawson: [cutting Evan off] Amazing.
- Divya Katdare: Thank you, Hank.
- Dr. Hank Lawson: Sure.
- Divya Katdare: It is my great-grandmother's favorite recipe. Please enjoy. Enjoy.
- Dr. Hank Lawson: Okay.
- [Evan gives Hank an uncomfortable look; Hank kicks him]
- Evan R. Lawson: Gosh, all right.
- [Hank and Evan take a bite]
- Dr. Hank Lawson: Mmm! It's great.
- Divya Katdare: Yeah?
- Evan R. Lawson: Fantastic, Divya. It is really good.
- Divya Katdare: [relieved] Okay, great. It's not too spicy. You'd tell me, right?
- Dr. Hank Lawson: No, no. It is perfect.
- Evan R. Lawson: Perfect.
- Divya Katdare: Oh, I almost forgot the chutneys. Be back.
- [Divya leaves; as soon as she's gone, Hank and Evan gag]
- Dr. Hank Lawson: Oh, my God!
- Evan R. Lawson: It's like I ate lava.
- [Hank takes a drink of water from his glass, and Evan takes large gulps from the water pitcher]