New Tricks (TV Series)
Old Fossils (2011)
Alun Armstrong: Brian Lane
Quotes
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Gerry Standing : Excuse my ignorance but what does the keeper of paleontology actualy do?
Brian Lane : Oh, a very important job, Gerry. He's responsible for a world class collection of fossils.
Superintendent Sandra Pullman : Just like me.
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[Gerry and Brian are about to break into Gerry's ex-wife's house so Gerry can retrieve what he thinks is a valuable fossil]
Brian Lane : You can't just walk into someone's house in the middle of the night when they're away. Gerry, this is illegal entry.
Gerry Standing : [smirking] All my wives have said that to me at one time or another!
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[last lines]
[Gerry has asked Madeleine Simmonds to identify a fossil that he has "borrowed" from one of his ex-wives, hoping that it will be worth a lot of money]
Madeleine Simmonds : It's coprolite.
Madeleine Simmonds : [excited] Is it?
Brian Lane : Coprolite.
Gerry Standing : Yeah, I own a coprolite. So between ourselves, could you give me a rough, ball-park figure of what I might hope to get for it?
Madeleine Simmonds : Well, someone with a scatological sense of humour might offer you a few quid to have it as a conversation piece.
Gerry Standing : [horrified] A few quid? But it's thousands of years old!
Madeleine Simmonds : Oh yes, it's old all right, but it's not all that uncommon. Coprolite is fossilised animal dung.
Gerry Standing : Shit!
Madeleine Simmonds : Precisely.
Gerry Standing : I don't want it.
[Gerry hands the coprolite to Brian who sniffs it]
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[first lines]
Det.Supt.Sandra Pullman : [Brian opens a storage locker] Brian!
Jack Halford : Well, say what you like about Bob Ruxton, but he never kept you waiting.
Brian Lane : Aye, he was a good man. Always had time for a chat.
Gerry Standing : And he always pulled the rounds. The nights I've been on the hit-and-miss with Doc Ruxton...
Det.Supt.Sandra Pullman : Yeah, well, that kind of behaviour might account for his having been suspended, mightn't it?
Jack Halford : It's a hard thing for a man to be publicly pilloried after a long and distinguished career.
Det.Supt.Sandra Pullman : He's not being pilloried, Jack. He's facing charges of negligence and incompetence.
Brian Lane : Nobody's perfect, Sandra.
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Det.Supt.Sandra Pullman : I'll fix us up a meeting with the Keeper of Palaeontology, who's the head of Fletcher's old department.
Gerry Standing : Excuse my ignorance, but what does the Keeper of Palaeontology actually do?
Brian Lane : Oh, a very important job, Jerry. He's responsible for a world-class collection of fossils.
Det.Supt.Sandra Pullman : [mutters] Just like me.