- Mrs. Sheringham: D'you know what we need? A dog. I'm thinking basset hound.
- Zak Gist: If it can learn to flush the loo, it's more than welcome. But please be advised that as the actual embodiment of heavenly grace on Earth, I will not be reduced to picking up poo in a plastic bag.
- Richard Pembroke: [of humans] They're morons. Tom, they don't know if there's anything beyond this life. Imagine how much freer they'd be if they were. That's all my side have ever wanted: transparency. D'you know... do you know why He doesn't show Himself? Because He wants *them* to love *Him*... unconditionally. Like some kind of... cosmic Katie Price.
- Tom Greening: Some of what Richard says makes sense.
- Zak Gist: Course it does. He's demonic, not stupid.
- Tom Greening: It feels quite strange being part of the prosecution.
- Zak Gist: You're gonna be brilliant on the Day of Judgement, aren't you?
- Zak Gist: Make it a lot easier, though, wouldn't it, if evil went round with fangs and bug-eyes and a pig's snout.
- Tom Greening: All the evidence suggests that Yalling had been stalking her, and... in his pocket, they found a pair of... They found a pair of, um...
- Zak Gist: You can say 'knickers', you won't burst into flames.
- Eddie Fairfax: [to Gist] If you want to continue making no sense whatsoever, you can do so in court.
- Jude: It's obvious Yalling was a perv.
- Mrs. Sheringham: Sublimely elegant argument. Are you part of the defence team?
- Mrs. Sheringham: You've a new job. Plinth and Dover. Family-run solicitors, absolutely charming. And the younger Mr Dover, 23, very good-looking - fit, you might say. Oh, and it's in Durham.
- Jude: What the hell are you talking about?
- Mrs. Sheringham: Yeah, I'm talking about hell. And heaven. And the fact that sometimes, the only thing that separates them is the wrong kind of kiss.
- [Mrs Sheringham has transferred Jude against her will]
- Jude: I'll go over your head.
- Mrs. Sheringham: Trust me, my boss is over everyone's head.
- Gemma Manes: They're sending me to a real prison.
- Zak Gist: You're already in prison, Gemma. Been in prison for a while. Let's break you out.
- Mrs. Sheringham: It hurt, by the way. What you said about me never knowing what it's like to be a mother.
- Tom Greening: Well, I'll never know what it's like to be a son.