- Walden buys Charlie's house and hires Berta as his live-in housekeeper, forcing Alan to move back in with his mom. However, Alan sees an opportunity to come back when Walden asks for advice about getting his wife back.
- Walden has bought the beach-house and re-hired Berta. However he feels lonely and trusts Alan enough to ask help and advice how to try win back his wife Bridget. Alan already feels very unwelcome at ma's and eagerly extracts as counter-favor the chance to move back in with Jake. Alan therefore braves Walden's semi-suicidal driving and, against his better judgment, joins 'breaking in' at the Schmidt mansion, only to hear Bridget say she gave Walden 15 years of chances to grow up. The new buddies seek consolation in alcohol and wake up naked together after nightly skinny-dipping.—KGF Vissers
- "Two and a Half Men" - "People Who Love Peepholes" - Sept. 26, 2011
The show opens with Walden convincing Berta to stay. As he speaks to her we hear her filthy inner thoughts sample: "I'd also consider smothering with you my sweet, sweet loving." "I wonder what his sweat tastes like."
Alan enters and says his car is packed and he's ready to go. Berta informs him she's taking his room. Alan wishes Walden happiness. He replies he can't be happy without his wife. As a young rich man with a face that makes women erect he should be, says Alan. Walden wonders about love and commitment and then notices that there's a peephole in the door and gets excited. He loves peepholes. Alan remarks well you know what they say about people who love peepholes... they're the luckiest people in the world. This Barbra Streisand joke is lost on Walden. Alan lets him know if he's left anything to just keep it or toss it, he's going to stay with his mom. Walden says goodbye and then skips upstairs to start his new life. Jake emerges from the hall and calls for his dad, shrugs and walks back to his room.
At Evelyn's she hounds him about unpacking since he's only staying temporarily. He says it will just be a few days, weeks or a month at most and she should live her life normally. She says she plans to, starting with the date she has tonight which will include some rough sex. So rough that she wants him to know not come to her bedroom even if she's screaming. Unless she's screaming "umbrella" since that's her safe word.
We cut to Walden on the phone with his ex-wife Bridget asking very basic questions: what kind of shampoo does he use? (baby shampoo) Where does he get it? (any supermarket) He asks if she will take him back. (She says no.) What kind of toilet paper is it that makes his tushy feel like he's wiping with a cloud? Apparently, she tells him to grow up and he tells her to grow up and he hangs up. He asks Berta to go get the baby shampoo and then cries to her about how much he misses Bridget.
When Walden arrives unexpectedly at Evelyn's, Alan happily leaves as he hears Evelyn screaming "umbrella."
They get in Walden's fancy, $100k electric car. Walden admits that he came over because he was lonely. He's been with Bridget since high school. Alan jokes that in high school he was dating a poster of Molly Ringwald. Walden gets increasingly agitated talking about Bridget and begins speeding excessively. Alan gets nervous and admits to peeing a little on the seat. They arrive at Walden's old house. They climb the huge gate to get into the property after Bridget denies them entrance. When they get to the top Bridget turns on the electric fence.
Inside a frazzled Alan and Walden comment on how they both have a buzzing in their ears. Bridget puts a towel under Alan on the couch. Walden again asks to come back. Bridget says she gave him many chances over the years to prove himself and that she is tired of being his mother and caretaker pointing out that she picks out his clothes, tells him when to go to sleep and-- before they were rich-- did all the cooking and cleaning. She is done. He says he can grow up. She disagrees. Alan occasionally, unhelpfully butts in. She finally tells them both to get out. They do, but not before Walden swipes a roll of toilet paper.
We cut to Alan and Walden waking up on one of the chairs on the deck. They are both naked. They are not sure why. But there are liquor bottles scattered about. Alan has morning wood. Walden asks him to get it off of him. They try to piece together what happened and Berta chimes in that they went skinny dipping and it was all her idea. She's on a nearby chair with a killer hangover.
Later, a woman in a bikini arrives asking after Charlie. Alan has to break the news that he is dead. The woman begins to cry and then Walden walks in wrapped in a towel. She immediately stops crying and introduces herself. Walden asks why she was crying. She says she doesn't know. The doorbell rings and Alan answers it. It is Bridget, she has come to talk to Walden, who then emerges with the bikini-clad woman. Alan covers that the woman his girlfriend and shepherds her away. Walden promises he can try to grow up and take care of himself and if they could just go out to dinner, he'll prove it. Bridget says she will give him a chance. Alan goes to leave again. Walden sees him to the door and thanks him for covering with bikini girl. He says if there's anything he can do to let him know. Alan asks if he can stay with him for a few days, weeks, no more than a month. Walden says sure. Alan promises he's not the type to overstay his welcome. Walden says cool and shuts the door. Alan turns, smiles, and says to himself, "I'm back!"
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