The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Roommate Transmogrification (2011)
Kaley Cuoco: Penny
Photos
Quotes
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Penny : What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon Cooper : Same thing that happened to Homo erectus. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj Koothrappali : I'm the new Homo in town!
[pause]
Raj Koothrappali : That came out wrong.
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Sheldon Cooper : Man is not the only species that ferments fruit in order to become intoxicated. Can you guess what the other is? A hint: sometimes they pack the alcohol in their trunks.
Penny : Monkeys!
Sheldon Cooper : When does a monkey have a trunk?
Penny : When a suitcase just won't do.
[Penny and Raj laugh]
Sheldon Cooper : All right. It would appear as if alcohol is playing keep-away with your intelligence.
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[Bernadette is getting her Ph.D]
Penny : Wow! So that means you're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor... and Howard, you know a lot of doctors!
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Penny : Can I tell you a secret?
Raj Koothrappali : Yeah.
Penny : I screwed up. Leonard's a great guy. Never should have broken up with him.
Raj Koothrappali : Well er, to paraphrase Shakespeare - It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night and download increasingly shameful pornography.
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Raj Koothrappali : What's wrong with me, Penny?
Penny : Nothing, nothing. You know, if we weren't friends - and you hadn't brought up that creepy pornography story - I'd be on you like the speed of light squared on matter to make energy.
Raj Koothrappali : Hey, you totally got that right! E equals M C squared.
Penny : I listen. I have no idea what it means, but I listen.
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[first lines]
Penny : Hi, you guys ready to order?
Sheldon Cooper : [the gang mutters consent] Sure.
Penny : 'Kay. Priya?
Priya Koothrappali : I'll have the Shepherd's pie.
[to Leonard]
Priya Koothrappali : You want to split that with me?
Penny : Oh, no, no, no, he doesn't.
Priya Koothrappali : Why not?
Penny : Well, you know, milk in the taters, milk in the gravy, parmesan crust... your lactose-intolerant boyfriend will turn into a gas-filled Macy's day balloon.
Sheldon Cooper : Not quite accurate. Macy's balloons are filled with helium, whereas Leonard produces copious amounts of methane.
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Penny : [to Raj after Leonard leaves] Explain something to me. You watched Leonard put up with that guy for years and years. What has to break inside your brain for you to think: "Oh, Krishna, I've got to get me some of that?".
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[last lines]
Penny : [after Penny drunkenly sleeps with Raj, she tries to sneak out, but is finds Sheldon, Leonard, and Howard in the living room] Damn.
Leonard Hofstadter : What is going on?
Penny : [laughing nervously] Oh, it's, it's not what it looks like.
[embarrassed, Penny quickly leaves]
Sheldon Cooper : What does it look like?
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Penny : Hey Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon Cooper : Yes, it's "pennygetyourownwifi", no spaces.