"Weihnachten... ohne mich, mein Schatz!", which means "Christmas... without me, my darling!" is a German television film from 2012 that is also somewhat known under the title "Einmal Veddel und zurück" (really says nothing) and I am not sure which of the two titles is worse. The actual one sound very cringeworthy too and it includes Christmas, so you know it is a movie that will mostly be shown during the holiday season. One reason why maybe it was airing today as well. The director of these under 90 minutes is Dennis Satin, who has been making (television) movie for a long time, and the script was provided by three writers here, all of them not as prolific as the director, but definitely no rookies either. And we certainly got a case of too many cooks spoiling the broth here. I find it shocking how six eyes could not see how much of a mess this story here turned out to be. It is still somewhatg tolerable early on and I perhaps could have given it 2 stars out of 5 until halfway into the movie. But near the end, it just becomes a complete disaster. I will give you a few examples. Basically everything related to the kids felt forced and unauthentic. Like we got the taxi driver's daughter there fueled with anger and after a few words from the female protagonist, they are hugging it out minutes later. And of course the mute boy. This one with his condition could have deserved his own movie admittedly and with competent execution it could have been a good movie for sure. (Wiith that, I mean without scenes like the stupid reaction by the female main character when she realizes her cards are blocked. Nobody would have said what she said in this scenario. Her male equivalent's immediate regrets aren't any better. He would not have done it then if he knew it was wrong. And the comments by a minor character about how she would leave her man immediately if he did something like that were really cringeworthy. All felt written, nothing real.) Instead, there is virtually zero elaboration early on until the moment when all of a sudden he speaks because the old guy told him so. So they want the full amount of amotions from us, but they are not doing anything for that. The brief inclusion of the taxi driver telling us how she met his current lover is pretty inappropriate too, although admittedly this is how women speak with each other. It does not make her likable or so. And of course the taxi driver's man does not go on the long journey with his truck, but stays at home with his beloved ones for the holidays. All in really for forced unrealistic happy endings this film goes. Oh yeah, we also get a suicide attempt by an old lady on Christmas Eve that goes unsuccessful. Needless to say as we see her recovering in a wheelchair near the end. And lets not forget about what everybody in this film had forgotten, namely that the old man saved the mayor when he was young (and of course the now old lady too) from a flood or something, so when they clearly ran out of ideas, then you see that they just solved it in the most convenient and least realistic fashion. Maybe the one moment when the film hits rock-bottom is when they really steal the Christmas tree freom the main antagonist's garden. No words on that. You see the scene here on imdb on a photo.
The one character I did not mention with all these ridiculously bad solutions as you may have recognized is Henry Hübchen's male protagonist. I guess this is probably why he accepted the role because they did not turn his character's story line into complete disaster like with everybody else. Then again the likes of Speidel, Cukrowski and most others too I assume are used to playing in such cheesy films with really bad quality. Sad to see Bessen going out on such a low note I must say. He deserves better. Anyway, back to Hübchen. He is the only one close to a star in this film, after all a German Film Award winner who has been in many many theatrical releases too. And I still find it baffling how young he looks. I thought he looked definitely younger than Speidel in this film and she is younger than him and not just one or two years. I wonder what his secret is. Anyway, what else can I say about this film. The writing is very poor, the performances are not adding much either, the story is ntirely predictable and if there is one film that is not gonna get you in Christmas mood, then this is it. Good news is they did not make any sequels here, which is often the case for German television films. These days, it is still shown in Decembers in the afternoon program mostly, but even for that it is not good enough. With all the heartbreak and "emotion" in here, I am a bit baffled they did not also shove puppies or baby kittens into our faces towards the end. I don't know if I sound like the Grinch with this review, but I am really willing to take it because this movie deserves nothing truly positive said about it. The better scenes were mediocre at best too, just not as bad as the weak scenes that were really bad. So overall with this film moving closer to its 10th anniversary (maybe it happened already depending on when you read my review), it is time to put it into a shelf and never get it out again. I really wish they did not mess up as much as they did in the final 15-20 minutes, but the way they did it is a definite contender from worst 2012 film and I have seen a lot from that year, so it means something. Shameful this was made even. Huge thumbs-down. Not recommended.
The one character I did not mention with all these ridiculously bad solutions as you may have recognized is Henry Hübchen's male protagonist. I guess this is probably why he accepted the role because they did not turn his character's story line into complete disaster like with everybody else. Then again the likes of Speidel, Cukrowski and most others too I assume are used to playing in such cheesy films with really bad quality. Sad to see Bessen going out on such a low note I must say. He deserves better. Anyway, back to Hübchen. He is the only one close to a star in this film, after all a German Film Award winner who has been in many many theatrical releases too. And I still find it baffling how young he looks. I thought he looked definitely younger than Speidel in this film and she is younger than him and not just one or two years. I wonder what his secret is. Anyway, what else can I say about this film. The writing is very poor, the performances are not adding much either, the story is ntirely predictable and if there is one film that is not gonna get you in Christmas mood, then this is it. Good news is they did not make any sequels here, which is often the case for German television films. These days, it is still shown in Decembers in the afternoon program mostly, but even for that it is not good enough. With all the heartbreak and "emotion" in here, I am a bit baffled they did not also shove puppies or baby kittens into our faces towards the end. I don't know if I sound like the Grinch with this review, but I am really willing to take it because this movie deserves nothing truly positive said about it. The better scenes were mediocre at best too, just not as bad as the weak scenes that were really bad. So overall with this film moving closer to its 10th anniversary (maybe it happened already depending on when you read my review), it is time to put it into a shelf and never get it out again. I really wish they did not mess up as much as they did in the final 15-20 minutes, but the way they did it is a definite contender from worst 2012 film and I have seen a lot from that year, so it means something. Shameful this was made even. Huge thumbs-down. Not recommended.
