Archer (TV Series)
El Secuestro (2011)
H. Jon Benjamin: Sterling Archer
Photos
Quotes
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Cheryl : Yes, I spent like every summer there listening to my creepy great-grandmother bitch about
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Cheryl : . Apparently, slavery was pretty awesome.
Malory Archer : Prove it.
Sterling Archer : What's to prove? It's free labor.
Malory Archer : Not THAT, ass. Prove you're really a Tunt.
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Sterling Archer : On the way, we gotta stop at a toy store and at least get him a stuffed animal. Something. It's like, Meowschwitz in there.
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Sterling Archer : What the hell was that?
Cheryl : Ugh. My stupid ocelot.
Sterling Archer : I've never seen an ocelot!
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Lana Kane : Pam, you okay?
Pam : [very angry] Do you people even give a shit? Cheryl's dumb ass gets me kidnapped and the shit kicked out of me all day, and nobody even tries to rescue me?
Ray Gillette : Archer's fault.
Sterling Archer : Shut up!
Pam : YOU shut up, Mister "Pam's Not Worth It!" Then you stupid a-holes shoot a jillion stupid a-hole bullets at me!
Malory Archer : Not me! I wasn't shooting!
Pam : And YOU, the worst of the bunch!
Malory Archer : Me? Why me?
Pam : Five thousand measly dollars?
Malory Archer : You know, maybe I lowballed him at first, but I-I-I had some wiggle room!
Pam : Yeah? Well let's see how much you wiggle when I'm whipping five thousand bucks worth of your ass!
Lana Kane : Hey, whoa, Pam!
Sterling Archer : Lana. Let her have this one.
Malory Archer : Sterling! Somebody? Anybody?
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Sterling Archer : Holy shit, you guys! Look at his little spots!
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Sterling Archer : Look at his tufted ears!
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Malory Archer : Not you, Mr. Blood Mobile!
Sterling Archer : Ha, ha. He got shot again.
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Malory Archer : Well, now, this is just a disaster!
Brett Buckley : Yeah, ya think?
Malory Archer : Not you, Mr. Blood Mobile!
Sterling Archer : [laughing] He got shot again.
Malory Archer : Cyril was insisting we try to get the kidnappers to release Pam.
Lana Kane : Weren't you gonna do that anyway?
Malory Archer : If it came up. And will somebody answer the damn phone for once in their life?
Sterling Archer : Looking your way, Brett.
Brett Buckley : Hello?
Sterling Archer : Was that so hard?
Brett Buckley : Yes? Yeah, one sec. Kidnappers!
Lana Kane : Okay, keep them on the line.
Sterling Archer : I'm lead negotiator!
Lana Kane : No, you're not!
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Sterling Archer : It's like Meowschwitz in there.
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Brett Buckley : [bleeding] Ahh. Ahh, so cold.
Ray Gillette : What? Brett, get off the phone!
Brett Buckley : You got it?
Sterling Archer : Yes, hang up!