Bad Movie Beatdown (TV Series)

Epic Movie (2010)

Mathew Buck: Film Brain

Quotes 

• Film Brain : THAT'S THE SAME JOKE! With ONE word changed! The same joke! This isn't parody or plagiarism, this is downright THEFT!

• Film Brain : Interestingly, the film opens without a Fox logo insight, despite them being the distributors of the movie. And believe me, when Fox takes their name off a movie, you know it's bad.

• Film Brain : So, they're greeted by the Willy Wonka lookalike, Willy, played by... what the fuck? Crispin Glover? From George McFly to THIS? And this was the guy who accused Spielberg of being money grubbing. Talk about a hypocrite.

• Film Brain : Hmm, if I were making a comedy with no sense of humor and the mentality of an 8-year-old, what would I put in now? Oh, Borat! Chuck in a Borat impersonator in a suit. You know, completely miss the point of the movie I'm supposed to be satirizing!

• Film Brain : And it seems the audience has just paid for a low-grade Youtube Poop on the big screen!

• Film Brain : She can't read! LAUGH!

• Film Brain : I'm too old for this shit.

• [after a parody of Snakes on a Plane] 

  Film Brain : Jesus! Rule of Comedy 95: doing a bad impersonation and then doing it three times does not make it funny! At least in the unrated version, this so-called joke actually remains intact. In the PG-13 theatrical cut, all instances of "motherfucker" are replaced with "goddamn," managing to ruin what little joke there was to ruin in the first place!

• Film Brain : I'm reviewing Epic Movie, or as I like to call it, Epic Fail.

• Film Brain : From shit-meisters Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, a.k.a. Seltzerberg, Epic Movie is a 2007 cash-in on... everything released 18 months prior, or thereso abouts.

• Film Brain : David Carradine? What the hell, man? You're Bill! You're the king of cool!

• Film Brain : Personally, I find this as arousing as a bowl of noodles, but hey, I'm not 12-years-old.

• Film Brain : [a naked woman runs past the camera]  I'm guessing THAT wasn't in the PG-13 version.

• Film Brain : Wow, something that resembles satire. And it still sucks.

• Film Brain : How the hell did they get Fred Willard and Jennifer Coolidge? Did they think they were making a Christopher Guest movie or something?

• Film Brain : [Aslo is killed]  Oh no! Aslo, I cared so much! Especially since that fight scene was entirely pointless.

• Film Brain : References are not jokes!