The Almighty Johnsons (TV Series)

Goddesses, Axl, Come in All Forms (2011)

Timothy Balme: Mike Johnson

Quotes 

• Ty Johnson : How many women friends do you have?

  Mike Johnson : Dunno.

  Ty Johnson : Guess - and Valerie doesn't count.

  Mike Johnson : Four or five.

  Ty Johnson : And how many of those are actually Valerie's friends who you happen to get on with?

  Mike Johnson : What's your point, Ty?

  Ty Johnson : I have nineteen.

  Mike Johnson : Good for you.

  Ty Johnson : And they're not just women I regard as a friend. They're actual friends who call me and... we have coffee and I give them advice and we talk. We talk Mike.

  Mike Johnson : Yeah, well, maybe you're one of those guys that gets on really well with women.

  Ty Johnson : Do you know how many of these women I've either slept with or tried to sleep with?

  Mike Johnson : I'm guessing nineteen.

  Ty Johnson : And they're all still friends with me, because I'm such a "great" guy.

  Mike Johnson : Look, Ty, I get that you're not happy with your lot, I truly do...

  Ty Johnson : No, I don't think you truly don't, Mike. What happens to me if Axl finds Frigg and, lo and behold, we attain our glorious powers?

  Mike Johnson : Don't go there.

  Ty Johnson : Behold, Hod, god of all things cold and dark. Well, THERE'S a turn-on for the ladies.

  Mike Johnson : Hey, hey, I'm a winter good, too.

  Ty Johnson : Of skiing - the cool bit of winter!

  Mike Johnson : Try not to think about this shit and live in the here and now.

  Ty Johnson : Yeah, well, in the here and in the now - I don't want TWENTY women friends. It's way too many for any self-respecting guy.

• Ty Johnson : Have I gone beyond being the friend to being the... you know... ?

  Mike Johnson : Gay friend?

  Ty Johnson : Yes. Oh, but how do you broach that question with a woman?

  Mike Johnson : Don't know. Come straight out with it, I sup... I'm sorry.