Photos
Quotes
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Sterling Archer : Suck it, cancer!
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Trinette McGoon : What the shit!
Sterling Archer : I know. I'm not normally a tattoo guy, but...
Trinette McGoon : Not yours, shit brain. His!
Sterling Archer : Yeah, it's like we've got each other's backs. Right?
Trinette McGoon : You can't tattoo a frickin' baby!
Sterling Archer : That's what the tattoo guy said. I had to slip him an extra $100.
Trinette McGoon : How about I slip somebody $100 to throw acid in your face!
Sterling Archer : Costs more than that, I bet. To buy acid, Trinette.
Trinette McGoon : Come on, Seamus. I hope your stupid cancer kills you!
Sterling Archer : Oh yeah, well, I hope... I hope it doesn't!
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Sterling Archer : Lana, I'm in love with you.
Lana Kane : You are also shitfaced.
Sterling Archer : I can be both.
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Trinette McGoon : What?
Sterling Archer : Breast cancer and yes, seriously. And I don't know how it's going to turn out, so I wanted to, you know, spend some time with the wee baby Seamus.
Trinette McGoon : He's not even your real kid!
Sterling Archer : So?
Trinette McGoon : So, it's weird.
Sterling Archer : So is me paying you child support, Trinette, but you keep cashing the checks!
Trinette McGoon : Hey.
Sterling Archer : I'm sorry. Come one, Trinette, Seamus may not be my son, but he's probably as close as I'm ever going to get.
Trinette McGoon : Ugh, um... Where are you taking him?
Sterling Archer : I don't know. What's he into?
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Sterling Archer : Who's Dicky?
Woodhouse : My brother.
Sterling Archer : What?
Woodhouse : He's younger.
Sterling Archer : Obviously.
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Sterling Archer : I have cancer.
Pam : Of the tits!
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Sterling Archer : Wow, it's kinda weird opening up like this, huh?
Malory Archer : Yeah, give me another belt.
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Sterling Archer : I beat cancer, everybody!
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Sterling Archer : Yeah, did I mention I have cancer?
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Sterling Archer : And there's so much I still wanna do!
Malory Archer : Oh, now you're gonna be fine.
Sterling Archer : Like I've never been to Rome.
Malory Archer : What? Yes you have.
Sterling Archer : For work, mother!
Malory Archer : Sterling Malory Archer, this surgery is going to work and you, look at me, you are going to beat cancer.
Sterling Archer : But what if I don't?
Lana Kane : So, how's this going?
Malory Archer : Not great.
Sterling Archer : Lana, what if I don't?
Lana Kane : Um.
Malory Archer : Can you take him home?
Lana Kane : Can you not?
Malory Archer : No. If I don't get something to eat I'm going to literally die.