- Sterling Archer: Hey! You idiots want to hear my plan or not? All right. So. Suggestions?
- Cyril Figgis: About what?
- Sterling Archer: What are we talking about? Stopping my mother from selling ISIS to ODIN.
- Cheryl: You said you had a plan.
- Sterling Archer: My plan is to crowdsource a plan.
- Sterling Archer: There's not enough liquor and therapy in the world to undo that. Ugh, I touched my mother's dildo.
- Cyril Figgis: Is Trexler buying ISIS just to get your mother to marry him?
- Sterling Archer: No! Yes. Look, shut up.
- Pam: That is some high priced milf.
- Sterling Archer: Hey. Shut up, and think of a way to make Trexler not want my mother.
- Pam: We could give her a milf-ectomy.
- Sterling Archer: If you say milf one more time I will shoot you in your eyeballs.
- Cheryl: Trust me, you can't control a person's heart.
- Dr. Krieger: You can with a little thing I like to call a deep-cycle marine battery. Or LSD.
- Cheryl: Huh? Is that what you've been giving me?
- Dr. Krieger: Yes?
- Cyril Figgis: That explains a lot.
- Cheryl: I just thought they were breath strips!
- Ray Gillette: I was married. For two years. Yeah, I mean, she was a lesbian, but still. We met in a "Pray Away the Gay" Bible group. That was a pretty weird time for me.
- Barry Dillon: It's cold in here.
- Len Trexler: Because she's here! The big, bad lady is here and she is cold.
- Malory Archer: Len! What's going on?
- Len Trexler: You're mean. And I don't like you! And I don't want ISIS or you. All I want is this lettuce and his brother.
- Sterling Archer: Rabbert Klein.
- Len Trexler: Rabbert Klein! So Barry, you ass.
- Barry Dillon: Yeah.
- Len Trexler: For the love of all things green, take me and Rabbert to the lettuce store.
- Sterling Archer: Mother, you've been lying to me my entire life. Just for once, I want you to tell me the truth.
- Malory Archer: Well, people in hell want ice water.
- Barry Dillon: So don't try do anything stupid.
- Sterling Archer: I don't have to try. Shit. Whatever. Move.
- Cheryl: So, Krieger's a doctor!
- Cyril Figgis: Not the medical kind!
- Dr. Krieger: Not even the other kind...
- Sterling Archer: Oh boy...
- Dr. Krieger: ...technically.