- The 20 remaining bachelorettes move into their luxurious Malibu mansion and the fairy tale begins. Two lucky women will get fabulous one-on-one dates: Brad escorts one bachelorette on a fantasy date which culminates at the Hollywood Bowl, where they will be serenaded by the chartbusting band Train. The other individual date finds Brad and another stunning woman on an incredibly romantic date to a private carnival. The group date will give 15 women a chance show Brad another side of their personality as they shoot public service announcements (PSA) for the American Red Cross, but it turns into a steamy face-off between some of the ladies. However, some of the bachelorettes will not have a date at all before the next rose ceremony, encouraging them to aggressively steal any time they can with Brad.—ABC Publicity
- Bachelor Brad wakes up in L.A. and the whole hunting-for-a-wife-on-national-television thing becomes "real." "I've been given an amazing second chance and it begins right now," Brad tells the camera (odd as this is the second episode of the season). Host Chris, meanwhile, advises the 20 remaining ladies to use their time with Brad "wisely" before he hands out the first date card. Melissa tells the camera that she spent an awful lot of money of clothes to be on the show after quitting her job, so she better have plenty of quality time with the Bradster. Yet Ashley H. ends up getting the first date.
Later, Brad picks up Ashley H. and they drive to a darkened field. "I want to see if we can laugh and be ourselves," Brad tells the camera. Ashley H. begins to "freak" before Brad flips a switch, illuminating ... an entire AMUSEMENT PARK! "I feel like I'm a kid all over again!" Ashley H. gushes as the pair ride rides and play midway games. Back at the McMansion, the ladies SQUEAL at the arrival of the second date card. The mood soon turns sour when 15 (!) names are read. Michelle is especially bummed as the next day is her birthday. "Tomorrow is going to drive me crazy -- guaranteed," a creepily serious Michelle tells the camera. Brad and Ashley H., meanwhile, engage in the very first sloppy make-out session of the season. It's pretty gross, but that's love for you.
Later, the two sip champagne and Brad wonders what makes "you you." Ashley H. reveals that her father was an addict (uh oh) who was never around (double uh oh). Brad confesses that his father was habitually absent, too! Sad music plays. Brad blames his father for dumping two women on his last "Bachelor" appearance. Ashley H. worries that Brad feels "obligated" to choose a wife this time around. Brad denies the charge. "I have a real good gut feeling about this," he tells Ashley H. "You make it very, very easy." Brad then hands the lady a rose. They board the Ferris wheel. They make out.
The next morning, Michelle continues to complain about her lack of attention from Brad. This could get ugly. Melissa is also nervous, calling the first group date a "pivotal moment." The ladies take a limo to a soundstage where they learn that they will be filming public service announcements for the American Red Cross. The women memorize their lines, go through wardrobe and watch as Brad changes his shirt. The first scene: a parody of a Mexican soap opera. It's as embarrassing as it sounds with Brad "playing" a mustachioed lothario named Gustavo. Multiple takes -- and scripted kisses -- later, Melissa decides to "crash" the scene and kiss Brad herself. The women are SHOCKED. "Melissa is acting a little weird today," Shawntel observes. You think? Michelle, meanwhile, is feeling neglected on her 30th birthday (surprise, surprise).
Britt, who refers to herself as a "big ol' prude," decides to engage in some method acting and practically attacks the bachelor during a scripted kissing scene. The hot action causes observer Michelle to storm off the set. Later, Brad follows Michelle, who explains that "all I want for my birthday is Brad." The bachelor is very patient and urges Michelle to rejoin the group. Mercifully, the PSA filming soon ends and the gang heads to the roof of a hotel for food and drinks. "Drama free, right?" Brad asks the ladies. Don't bet on it, buddy. Sure enough, creeptastic Michelle pulls Brad aside and tells the bachelor that he "has walls" that she wants to "peel." Meanwhile, Melissa gets into it with two of the other ladies, eventually accusing Raichel of acting like a "21 year old." Mee-ow!
"What happened today?" Brad asks the camera. "A lot has happened today." Well said, Brad -- well said. Our articulate bachelor then gives the rose to Michelle. The ladies are SHOCKED and CONFUSED. "Huh," Chantal says to the camera. Michelle, meanwhile, mentions a few more times that it is her birthday. Her 30th birthday. It's her birthday. The big 3-0. Seriously, it's her birthday TODAY. Everyone got it? Great. Let's move on.
The next day, Brad picks up Jackie for a fabulous one-on-one date. "This date is Jackie's very own 'Pretty Woman' experience," Brad tells the camera. Wait -- did the bachelor just call Jackie a hooker? But never mind. The pair change into robes, get mud masks at a spa and then retreat into a hotel room where DRESSES and SHOES await! Jackie can choose whatever she wants. "I'm just, like, floored," Jackie says. Back at the McMansion, beautiful Emily calls her kid. It makes her cry. "It as so hard leaving Ricky at home to come here, but I feel it will all be worth it in the end," she opines.
Jackie and Brad, in the meantime, head to the Hollywood Bowl for a private dinner. Shockingly, Jackie claims she wasn't popular in high school or college -- and has only dated two men. Brad is wary. "You clearly pick the men that you're with extremely carefully," Brad says. He is concerned. What if Jackie is too much like the old, cautious Brad rather than the new, let's-get-married-as-soon-as-possible version? Still, Brad gives Jackie a rose. Suddenly, the band Train appears onstage! Brad and Jackie dance while Train promotes whatever song it is that they're singing. Make-out time.
Back at the McMansion, the ladies get all dressed up for the cocktail party. Brad arrives -- and Michelle IMMEDIATELY pulls the bachelor outside. The other women are FURIOUS, especially considering that Michelle has a rose. She then asks some probing questions such as "Do you prefer Starbucks or Coffee Bean?" Basically, it's just plain dumb. Melissa and Raichel, in the meantime, continue their nonsensical fight. Raichel refers to Melissa as a "toxic disease." Melissa cries to anyone who will listen (and a few who refuse to listen) that Raichel is attacking her for no good reason. Drama!
Melissa then pours her heart out to Brad. She begins to cry, explaining that she is the "targeted girl for some reason." Melissa then calls Raichel an "energy suck" before apologizing for having onion-pizza breath (WTF?). Brad decides to do a little detective work, confronting Raichel, who is ALSO crying. "I have two women crying tonight," Brad tells the camera. "I don't know what to think." Host Chris then introduces Ali and Roberto from "The Bachelorette." Apparently, "Alberto" is going to help Brad make his decision. So the happy couple performs interviews. Naturally, Melissa spends these all-important minutes CRYING and COMPLAINING about Raichel. Yikes.
After conferring with Ali and Roberto, Brad decides to give his pre-rose ceremony rose to beautiful Emily. She happily accepts. Next: the actual rose ceremony. Flowers go to Chantal, Sarah, Alli, Kimberly, Shawntel, Stacey, Ashley S., Madison, Lisa, Marissa, Meghan, Lindsay and, finally, Britt. So the not-quite-legendary Melissa vs. Raichel feud ends with both saying goodbye. Melissa, of course, blames the other girls for "targeting" her. A weeping Raichel is angry at herself for letting another woman derail her focus.
Proverbial "right reason(s)" episode count: 6. Overall season count: 10.
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