- Brooke Alvarez: We're celebrating our fifth anniversary this week, and we couldn't have done it without all of you at home on your couches, sitting in silence, absorbing everything I say, navigating your lives around the information I feed you. I'd say thank you, but, really, you're the ones who should be thanking me.
- Brooke Alvarez: Well, as long as our entire system of government is now null and void, I may as well take this opportunity to suggest myself as a possible future leader to rally around. Allow me to state my case: with my vast breadth of knowledge and undeniable charisma, I believe I'd make a skilled and effective commander on the Post-American state. Say goodbye to the cowardice and indecision of the past, with Brooke Alvarez in charge, hunger, fear, and weakness would be but a distant memory.