- Todd Dempsy: Why are you all dressed up?
- Manmeet: I'm dressed up for Diwali, man.
- Todd Dempsy: Oh, yeah right.
- Manmeet: You don't know what Diwali is, do you? Todd, come on. It's the biggest holiday in India, man.
- Todd Dempsy: I know what it is. I just think it's become a little commercialized, you know? It shouldn't be about buying stuff. It should be about celebrating the birth of the Baby Diwali.
- [Manmeet glares at Todd]
- Todd Dempsy: There is no Baby Diwali, is there?
- [Manmeet shakes his head]
- Todd Dempsy: Uh... laughing cow? Crouching tiger? Flying monkey.
- Manmeet: Okay, there does happen to be a flying monkey, but I feel like that guess came from a bad place.
- Todd Dempsy: Can somebody tell me what Diwali is really all about?
- Asha: It's about the triumph of good over evil.
- Madhuri: And the beginning of the new year.
- Manmeet: And it marks the end of the harvest.
- Gupta: And it commemorates Lord Rama's glorious return after fourteen years of exile and his defeat of the Demon King, Ravana.
- Todd Dempsy: Wow! So it's like a combination of Christmas, New Year's, Fourth of July and "Star Wars".
- [Todd has just told his workers that they can't have Diwali off]
- Todd Dempsy: Can't we just be happy that the Demon King is dead?
- Gupta: Even the Demon King gives his workers the holidays off.
- Todd Dempsy: What?
- Gupta: Oh, nothing. Just saying that you are worse than the Demon King.
- Todd Dempsy: Are you letting your workers leave early today for Diwali?
- Charlie Davies: You have to, man. This is huge for them. I love this time of year. Booze, fireworks, no laws against how you like to party. It's like spring break before MTV got a hold of it. Check out this little game-changer.
- [Charlie draws a handgun and fires randomly into the air]
- Charlie Davies: Happy Diwali, everybody!
- Todd Dempsy: Are you crazy?
- Charlie Davies: Relax, I'm pretty sure they're blanks.
- Todd Dempsy: Pretty sure?
- Charlie Davies: Well, the box is in Russian.