Bradley Walsh: Pop Larkin

Quotes 

• [Pop Larkin and Mr Jerebohm are negotiating a price for the house that Pop is selling] 

  Mr. Jerebohm : I'll stretch to twelve thousand pounds.

  Pop Larkin : Well, in that case you must find yourself a house worth twelve thousand pounds.

  Pop Larkin : Did I mention around these parts no-one ever dies? It's in the air, you see. They live forever - a bit like tortoises.

  Mr. Jerebohm : Fifteen thousand pounds is my final offer.

  Pop Larkin : No. I can get more from the demolition rats, you see. My builder, Big Ivor, is round the back with a bag of gelignite.

  [Pinkie Jerebohm looks imploringly at her husband] 

  Mr. Jerebohm : [to Pinkie]  Darling, you're rather undermining my own negotiating power.

  Pinkie Jerebohm : [whispers]  Well, what do you want me to do? Pretend it's a pile of crap and I hate it?

  Mr. Jerebohm : [whispers]  You could err on that side, yes.

  Pop Larkin : A bloke from Birmingham, he offered me a thousand pounds for the wood panelling alone. Same for the big window at the front. Don't mind me - I'm just making conversation.

  Pinkie Jerebohm : I'm worried about getting staff. Would they be available?

  Pop Larkin : Oh yeah.

  Mr. Jerebohm : Fiteen and a half.

  Pop Larkin : Seventeen thousand, cash, and I will take a "yes" or a "goodbye".

  Mr. Jerebohm : Cash?

  Pop Larkin : I never trust money I can't bury.

  [Pinkie makes imploring noises] 

  Mr. Jerebohm : Yes.

  [Pinkie squeals with delight] 

• [the Jerebohms arrive at the Larkins' house in their new Rolls Royce. Pop Larkin points to his much older Rolls Royce] 

  Pop Larkin : We should put your Roller with our. See if they make a baby.