- George St. Cloud: [Jim wants to do a fist bump] Whoa. You keep that sledgehammer away from me, man. You ain't gonna crush these delicate hands.
- Jim Powell: I was gonna block the car's path, and... I don't know what happened. It's like my strength just gave out.
- Stephanie Powell: Did you feel anything strange beforehand, like a nerve pinch, rush of fatigue, headache?
- Jim Powell: No. Nothing specific. Just weaker.
- George St. Cloud: You know, it could be a confidence problem, like performance anxiety.
- Stephanie Powell: The only thing ruining his performance are your phone calls.
- J.J. Powell: Mr. Litchfield, I think there's been a mistake. You gave Kenny an F, but his answers are almost all correct.
- Mr. Litchfield: You're right, only they're not his answers - they're yours.
- J.J. Powell: What're you talking about?
- Mr. Litchfield: Your answers match, Mr. Powell, down to the variables. I'm afraid your friend has been cheating off you.
- Kenny Barcly: No, I didn't. J., I swear.
- Mr. Litchfield: Oh, so in one semester I took two young men who didn't know a trapezoid from a trapeze and turned them into ivy leaguers? Trust me: I'm a good teacher - not THAT good.
- J.J. Powell: Maybe I am. Kenny was having trouble so I tutored him.
- Mr. Litchfield: Oh, now it all makes sense. Jock gets nerd on football team; nerd lets jock cheat off of him. What an adorable little Breakfast Club you two have going on. Well, I'm afraid it won't turn out to be Some Kind of Wonderful for you, Mr. Barcly.
- J.J. Powell: I've got bigger fish not to fry.
- Daphne Powell: Clearly your giant brain hasn't changed your ability to make bad puns.
- J.J. Powell: I'm not gonna help you lie just so some guy will like you.
- Daphne Powell: But I told him I spoke Japanese. What am I supposed to do?
- J.J. Powell: I don't know, but you lied your way in. Now lie your way out.
- Katie Andrews: But the truth is, anything could be causing your husband's reaction. I mean, your family's genetic code is so unique and unexplored. I mean, we're like scientific spelunkers here.
- Stephanie Powell: I miss those days when all I had to worry about was whether Jim liked me, not the causal factors impeding his superpowers.
- Jim Powell: This is all my fault. If I'd stopped those carjackers the other night, they wouldn't be driving around crashing into math teachers.
- J.J. Powell: What a waste of your powers. You're manipulating some guy into liking you, and it's not even you you're getting him to like.
- Daphne Powell: Quit judging me. You've done way worse.
- J.J. Powell: Maybe so, but who knows how long these powers are gonna last. And if they were to somehow end today, you have to ask yourself - did you do the best you could with them while you had the chance?
- Katie Andrews: Most people you meet on-line have this Bruce Wayne profile, and then in person they're Napoleon Dynamite. You are, like, the opposite. You're, like, this super-geek online and then in person you're actually, like, cool.
- Katie Andrews: And since Jim and the plant share the same D.N.A. structure, do you realize what we've just discovered? Jim's kryptonite.
- Katie Andrews: His name is Will and he's a dash of Edward mixed with a smidge of Wolverine.
- Stephanie Powell: Hm.
- Katie Andrews: Which means absolutely nothing to you.
- Stephanie Powell: Well, of course I know who Wolverine is. Uh, he's the one with the muttonchops and the really long nails.
- Katie Andrews: They're claws, actually.
- Stephanie Powell: And this is sexy?
- Bret Martin: So, how about before our cram session tonight we go out for some sushi? It would be nice to go with someone who appreciates it. Someone who, when I say "arigato gozaimasu," doesn't say "God bless you."
- Daphne Powell: Exactly.
- Bret Martin: You speak Japanese?
- Daphne Powell: [nervously lying] Speak it? I'm practically fluent.
- Bret Martin: [delighted] You just keep getting cooler.
- J.J. Powell: [about to begin surgery] I started with twenty milligram of midazolam. Remember, once the pipe is extracted, you'll have three milliseconds to suture the aorta. What?
- Stephanie Powell: Nothing, it's just... Well, when I envisioned us spending time together, I was imaging something more along the lines of mini golf.
- George St. Cloud: [interrupting Jim and Stephanie's romantic night with a crime in progress] What's it gonna be, the nooky or the crooky?