- Chase: Just Messina girls or are you talking about any girls?
- Benny Highcliff: Any girls who are shallow, incurious, makeup fixated, whiny, dishonest, bobble headed, vapid, two timing waste is a perfectly good oxygen. So yeah, probably any girls.
- Chase: Hayley's like my sister, okay and you're like my brother. It was meant to be.
- Benny Highcliff: It was meant to be incestuous?
- Benny Highcliff: I think high school girls are the problem. I should go online and find a good cougar.
- Chase: Just make sure she's not married.
- Benny Highcliff: Where's the fun in that?
- Chase: Good point.
- Chase: So what, for now, you just gonna call back to your right hand?
- Benny Highcliff: Actually
- [points at his left hand]
- Benny Highcliff: I got my eyes on your sister.
- Bernice Leonard: Don't worry Benny, you'll get another chance to not amuse anyone with your flaccid one liners.
- [Walks away with Chase and Hayley]
- Benny Highcliff: [loudly] Only the deeply insecure feel the need to have the last word.
- Claudio: Hmm, you know that kind of...
- Benny Highcliff: Shut up!
- Chase: Look, just let me do my thing okay. You can thank me when you're playing tongue hockey behind the gym.
- Benny Highcliff: [narrating] In Messina high, they keep the lights low during the day to save energy. I'm sure it's irritating if you like to drain three pointers topless during fifth period like B-dog here, but it does make getting a handy under the bleachers much easier or so I've heard.
- Bernice's Mom: Was that Benny Highcliff that you used to play with in fourth grade?
- Bernice Leonard: [Awkwardly] Yeah.
- Bernice's Mom: When did he get that funny little tattoo on his hiny?