Peter Kay credited as playing...
Chief Inspector Mackintosh
- Chief Inspector Mackintosh: Oh... How long have you been with us now?
- PC Mukherjee: Since 9am this morning, Chief.
- Chief Inspector Mackintosh: Well, you can forget what you've learned at training college. Because at the end of the day, there's just one thing that matters in this job - a copper's gut.
- PC Mukherjee: Copper's gut, sir?
- Chief Inspector Mackintosh: Instinct! The important stuff's not up here. It's down here. Yeah, I've got quite a copper's gut meself, actually.
- PC Mukherjee: Oh, I can see that, Chief. I mean, I, uh... I didn't mean I can see... it. Oh! Is that Feathers McGraw?
- PC Mukherjee: Well, all the clues seem to point to this man, a local inventor.
- Chief Inspector Mackintosh: Wallace? The upstanding citizen who helped put Feathers behind bars? Yeah, hey, why not? You catch one super villain, doesn't make you a saint, does it?
- PC Mukherjee: Should we say he's a suspect, then?
- Chief Inspector Mackintosh: Just bring him in and book him. I've got a speech to write.
- PC Mukherjee: Really? Don't we need... evidence?
- Chief Inspector Mackintosh: Oh, I don't know. All these fancy ideas you get from training college. Oh... Right, come on, then!
- Chief Inspector Mackintosh: Right, let's get this over with.
- Wallace: Get what over with?
- Chief Inspector Mackintosh: We have a warrant to search your premises. Mukherjee, read him his rights.
- PC Mukherjee: Ahem. Anything you say may be taken down and used as evidence against you.
- Wallace: But I haven't done anything!
- PC Mukherjee: We believe you to be guilty of theft by gnome.
- Wallace: I'm guilty of theft by gnome?
- Chief Inspector Mackintosh: Ha-ha! There you go! He admits it. Write that down.
- PC Mukherjee: I just think maybe Wallace has been unfairly portrayed as a crazed inventor.
- [Wallace emerges from the Dun-Nickin' wearing oversized goggles and laughing maniacally]
- Wallace: Oh, this'll work a treat!
- Chief Inspector Mackintosh: Huh?
- PC Mukherjee: To a certain extent.