Black Dynamite (TV Series)

Just Beat It or Jackson Five Across Yo' Eyes (2012)

Michael Jai White: Black Dynamite

Quotes 

• Black Dynamite : Dennis Flynn, I just got one question. Can you tell me how to get... to Puppet Street?

• Black Dynamite : Cream Corn, Honeybee, Bullhorn, I appreciate you all makin' the time to roll with me on such a short notice.

  Honeybee : Mmm, you know I'll do anything for yo sexy ass.

  Cream Corn : It's cool, B.D. I needed to get out my mama's house anyway. She was cold to ribbon. She got me some, 'Cream Corn, take out the trash! Cream Corn, clean up your room!' I'm like, 'Mama, bitch, pimps don't do chores!'

  Bullhorn : Black Dynamite, I know you got the warm and fuzzy for Puppet Street. But tonight, we might be wearing their asses on our muthafuckin' feet.

• [Black Dynamite and his gang are tied up, and TF Kurtis makes his appearance] 

  Black Dynamite : That Frog Kurtis?

  TF Kurtis : No! It's That King Pimp Kurtis now, muthafucker! Ribbit, muthafucker! Ribbit! And I guess you're supposed to be that supernigga Black Dynamite!

  [Stone cold look on Black Dynamite's face] 

  TF Kurtis : So-so-so-so-so-so-so-so, so it's not true?

  Black Dynamite : No, it is true. It's just that no puppet ever called me a nigga before. Now what kind of diabolical dirt are you planning with these kids?

  TF Kurtis : Oh, I got your diabolical dirt right here

  [points at crotch] 

  TF Kurtis : . Diabolical these nuts

  [grabs crotch] 

  TF Kurtis : in yo face!

  [Snaps fingers, then pauses] 

  TF Kurtis : I know you hear me snappin'! I know you hear me snappin'!

  [Two girls appear, handing TF Kurtis some dollar bills] 

  TF Kurtis : Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait a minute, ho. What's this? You know my money's supposed to be folded, not rolleded, bitch!

  [Throws rolled money at girl on left] 

  Cream Corn : Man, you ain't pimpin'! Those little itty bitty children are kids! Where yo bitches at?

  TF Kurtis : These kids my goddamn bitches. I make you my bitch too, if you keep runnin' yo muthafuckin' mouth! You ever been slapped across the muthafuckin' face by with a frog dick, huh?

  Cream Corn : Oh hell no! You ain't no...

  [TF Kurtis slaps Cream Corn across the face with his penis, causing him to scream] 

  TF Kurtis : What was that? I couldn't hear that sound. It sounded like you had a frog dick in your mouth.

  Black Dynamite : Why, That Frog Kurtis? Why?

  TF Kurtis : Why? Why? You know, I think it's time for big Black Dynamite to learn a little lesson.

• TF Kurtis : Now listen to Froggy, baby.

  [laughs] 

  TF Kurtis : 'Cause you all know, you know that I know, that That Frog Kurtis is a...

  Black Dynamite : Jive-ass muthafucka!

  TF Kurtis : Wait, Black Dynamite! Come on now, come on. What puppet taught you every lesson you learned?

  [Black Dynamite grabs TF Kurtis by the neck] 

  TF Kurtis : I got to, I got to out and pee in a minute. Your daddy wasn't there for you, Black Dynamite? Your daddy wasn't there for you, Black Dynamite?

  [Black Dynamite suddenly sees flashbacks of his father leaving him and his mother] 

  TF Kurtis : You and me are like one! Don't let The Man pit us against each other!

  [TF Kurtis reaches for a knife behind him, but Black Dynamite sees it and breaks his arm before giving him a headbutt - causing the Puppet Show to go on station break. The show goes back on air, but with a broken TF Kurtis puppet on screen] 

  Black Dynamite : [impersonating TF Kurtis]  Black Dynamite, thank you for coming on the Puppet Show as my special guest and best friend. And you kids can forget about everything That Frog Kurtis was saying. I was in make-believe land, but Black Dynamite took me out of it. Right, kids?

  [Girl in crowd screams]