Hot in Cleveland (TV Series)

Free Elka (2011)

Jane Leeves: Joy Scroggs

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Quotes 

• Elka Ostrovsky : [to Victoria's selfish whining while Elka is in jail]  Oh, you gotta front up and bug down, bitch!... It's prison slang.

  Joy Scroggs : You've been here three hours.

  Elka Ostrovsky : The joint changes you. I also know how to kill somebody with a toothbrush.

• Joy Scroggs : I can't believe you're choosing injections of botulism over your best friend. Doesn't that worry you?

  Victoria Chase : Yes, of course it does, but I figure if I can get to Chicago, then at least I won't look worried.

• Melanie Moretti : Your bail is very high.

  Victoria Chase : Did you have to insult the judge like that?

  Elka Ostrovsky : He called me elderly.

  Joy Scroggs : Well, you are elderly.

  Elka Ostrovsky : And he was really fat.

• Joy Scroggs : You know, about your earlier offer...

  Rick : Oh, the one you so summarily rejected?

  Joy Scroggs : Yes. Well, things have changed and I need a green card right away, so here goes, I'm so desperate, I guess I will marry you. I'm sorry, that can't be how you pictured a proposal response.

  Rick : No, that's exactly how I pictured it.

• Rick : Don't misunderstand me. I mean the whole marriage would be a complete sham. I would expect nothing in return.

  Joy Scroggs : Then why would you do it?

  Rick : Let me demonstrate. Excuse me, miss.

  Carol : Yes.

  Rick : Hi, I'm Rick and this is Joy, my fianceé. I noticed your expression just changed. You were surprised to hear that we were a couple?

  Carol : Well, yes. I guess I was.

  Rick : I don't want to put words in your mouth, but several explanations may have popped into your head: He must have money, or he's extraordinarily gifted in bed, or he's so incredibly wonderful that she was able to overlook his non-conformist body type. Did any of those thoughts occur to you?

  Carol : Yes, all three of them.