Office Christmas Party (2016)

Rob Corddry: Jeremy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mary : [enters the empty, now-trashed office]  Hey, guys, I got doughnuts! I got, uh, jelly and glazed and, uh, some other stuff. But no Cronuts, that's a bastard pastry.

  [runs into Jeremy] 

  Jeremy : I still hate your rules. But your dancing is wild and free. Like an unmanned fire hose.

  Mary : [looks at him below his waist]  Put your pants on.

  [turns/walks away] 

  Mary : For now.

• Tracey Hughes : [beginning her pitch for AnyWair]  What's the most annoying thing about the Internet?

  Jeremy : Pictures of peoples' kids.

  Joel : Linked-ln invites.

  Nate : My girlfriend's always on it.

  [tries to convince everyone] 

  Nate : I have a girlfriend.

  Fred : The lack of Asian male representation in porn.

  Jeremy : Grumpy Cat. It's like... It's Garfield.

  Fred : Oh, you know? That orange with the human dick?

• Jeremy : Mary just fucking cited me! Okay? I thought this was a party. If I want to dick tap Alan, I'm gonna dick tap Alan. That's a timeless gag! Never not funny!

  Josh Parker : [tries to shoo him away]  Okay, off you go.

  Jeremy : She is like a poisonous fucking cloud of shit gas, like, just seeping into everybody's good time. Every word she says makes my fucking hemorrhoids throb! I want that on the record!

  Josh Parker : It is.

  [Jeremy leaves] 

  Walter Davis : He's in customer service?

  Josh Parker : Yeah. He's much better on the phone.

• Clay Vanstone : Nobody is losing their jobs!

  Josh Parker : Yeah.

  Clay Vanstone : That is a Josh and Clay Christmas promise.

  Jeremy : Your promises are dog shit!