Curb Your Enthusiasm (TV Series)
Larry vs. Michael J. Fox (2011)
Larry David: Larry David
Photos
Quotes
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Larry David : [explaining to his girlfriend's seven-year-old son, Greg, who Adolf Hitler was] He didn't - he didn't really care for Jews. He thought they were a bit much.
Greg : [gasps] I would kick his butt.
Larry David : Would you!
Greg : Yes.
Larry David : Good for you.
[pointing to the next room]
Larry David : What's that - what are you watching in there?
Greg : "Project Runway." Good show.
Larry David : And what do you like about it?
Greg : [very flamboyantly] The fashion! It's, like, the best show ever!
Larry David : You like fashion?
Greg : Yes. I do.
Larry David : [processing this] Hmm.
Greg : [pointing to a swastika Larry doodled] Ooh! What's that right there?
Larry David : Oh, that's called a, uh, swastika.
Greg : [illustrating with arm motions] I like how the lines just go straight and then up and then down and then straight and then up and then down. It's *beautiful.* My birthday's coming up in a week, so - can you get me one?
Larry David : A swastika?
Greg : Yeah.
Larry David : I - I don't know, Greg, I'll have to think about that.
Greg : They should start selling them in every gift shop in New York City.
Larry David : Yeah, I don't think Jews would like that.
Greg : [cheerfully] Get a life, Jews!
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Susie Greene : [Greg has just given her a pillow sham with a swastika stitched on it] What the... What? Where did you learn about this symbol?
Greg : Larry taught me how to make a swastika.
[Larry shakes his head in horror]
Greg : He wrote it on a piece of paper.
Larry David : [nervously] Greg... No, I...
Greg : He was drawing, like, this evil man who hated Jews. What was his name again, Larry?
Larry David : [panicking] Hitler?
Greg : [brightly] Hitler! Yeah, Hitler.
Susie Greene : Larry taught you how to make this?
Larry David : No, I was...
Jennifer : [to Larry] You taught him how to make a swastika?
Larry David : No, I was doodling...
Susie Greene : [enraged] What the hell are you thinking?
Larry David : [backs away, desperately trying to defend himself] I was doodling! I was just doodling!
Susie Greene : On a PILLOW SHAM? You think this is an appropriate symbol to be petty-pointing on a pillow?
[inadvertently walks right into the path of an approaching biker]
Jeff Greene : SUSIE, LOOK OUT!
[shoves the screaming Susie out of the way, and the biker accidentally crashes into Jeff. Greg screams]
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[Michael has given David a bottle of orange soda that he shook due to his Parkinson's; Larry opens the bottle and gets soaked as a result]
Larry David : [as he gets soaked] Jesus Christ! What the hell? Did you shake that up on purpose?
Michael J. Fox : [nonchalantly] Parkinson's.
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[in Michael J. Fox's apartment, Michael comes across Larry drawing a Hitler mustache on an issue of Business Week magazine with the former's father-in-law Stephen Pollan on the front cover]
Michael J. Fox : What the fuck? Larry, what're you doing?
Larry David : [startled] Oh, I was just drawing a Hitler mustache.
Michael J. Fox : [takes the magazine from Larry] On my father-in-law! That's my father-in-law!
Larry David : [in disbelief] That's your father-in-law?
Michael J. Fox : Well, yeah! He's a businessman. He's on the cover of Business Week magazine.
Larry David : You're kidding! What the hell is he doing on the cover of a magazine?
Michael J. Fox : [shows Larry the damage he did to the magazine] Well, he's the Fuehrer now!
Larry David : Oh, God. I'm so sorry. It's just that I like to see what people look like with Hitler mustaches.
Michael J. Fox : [shows Larry the now destroyed magazine one final time] He looks like Hitler. Mystery solved. My father-in-law looks like Hitler. I gotta get rid of this because he's coming over here and if he sees this...
[Michael walks to the kitchen in his apartment to throw the magazine away]
Larry David : [interrupting] I'm sorry again.
Michael J. Fox : [as he tosses the magazine in the trash] That's all right. Can I get you a soda or something, Larry?
[Larry gets up off the sofa and heads to the kitchen; he sits down on a bar stool near the island]
Larry David : Oh, sure. That'd be great. Y'know, I mean, the thing is Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody; and now, nobody could wear it.
[Michael grabs a soda from the fridge and shakes it up before he gives it to Larry]
Larry David : Oh, thanks.
[Larry opens the bottle and gets sprayed with soda as a result of Michael shaking up the bottle; Michael goes to grab some paper towels to give to Larry]
Larry David : Jesus Christ! What the hell?
Michael J. Fox : [offers Larry some paper towels] Ya want-?
Larry David : Did you shake that up on purpose?
Michael J. Fox : [nonchalantly] Parkinson's.
[Larry grabs the paper towels from Michael as he attempts to dry himself]