Community (TV Series)
A Fistful of Paintballs (2011)
Danny Pudi: Abed Nadir
Photos
Quotes
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Abed Nadir : Jeff wants to see you.
Annie Edison : Yeah? And I want pants. A lot of people want a lot of things.
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Abed Nadir : I heard you never shoot an unarmed man.
Annie Edison : Whoever started that rumor didn't eat my beans.
Abed Nadir : Then I guess it's lucky for me I'm not unarmed.
[Abed pulls his pistol out from under his poncho]
Abed Nadir : Seeing as I'm... eating your beans.
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Pierce Hawthorne : Ah, my study group. How long has it been?
Abed Nadir : 5 hours?
Pierce Hawthorne : Too long. Welcome to Fort Hawthorne.
Annie Edison : How is this even possible?
Pierce Hawthorne : It began with a dream, Annie. A dream and an impulse to hide in the men's room. I found that people were willing to roll bullets underneath the door just for the right to take a dump. By the way, for you guys, taking a dump's on the house. Or if you prefer, relax and catch a show.
[He motions toward Vicki, who is standing on a table, dancing]
Jeff Winger : This is insane.
Pierce Hawthorne : Don't worry, Jeff. I've also got someone more your speed.
[He motions toward Garrett, who is standing on a table, dancing]
Leonard : Because you're gay.