Futurama (TV Series)

The Late Philip J. Fry (2010)

Billy West: Philip J. Fry, Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth, Dr. Zoidberg, Year 5 Million Male

Photos 

Quotes 

• Philip J. Fry : All in all, I've led a full life. Let's say the three of us grab a six-pack and watch the universe end?

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : Hear, hear!

  Bender : That's basically what I do every day.

• Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : The stars are receding. Oh, the vast emptiness!

  [Shakes empty beer can in front of Bender] 

  Bender : Yeah, yeah. I can take a hint.

• Philip J. Fry : I'm getting another beer.

  [Bends down to get a beer from Bender's chest compartment] 

  Bender : Fry, hurry up! You're missing the dinosaurs!

  Philip J. Fry : Relax, they're not going anywhere.

  [Gets up] 

  Philip J. Fry : Where'd they go?

• Philip J. Fry : Hey, look. The first fish to crawl up on land.

  Bender : [Steps on fish]  He was coming right at us! You all saw it!

• Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : Behold! A time traveling machine!

  [Fry and Bender gasp] 

  Bender : Time? I can't go back there!

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : Ah, but this time machine only goes forward in time. That way you can't accidentally change history, or do something disgusting like sleep with your own grandmother.

  Philip J. Fry : I wouldn't want to do that again.

• Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : Yoohoo, boys! What's this era in human history like?

  Man in the Year 10 Million : The machines. We built them to make our lives easier, but they rebelled. They won't stop until every human is dead!

  Bender : This seems like a nice future. Let's just stay here. We can settle down on that mountain of skulls.

  [Farnsworth starts the machine, they travel] 

  Bender : Hey! That place had a gorgeous view of Blood Lake.

• Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : The last proton should be decaying about now.

  Philip J. Fry : Bye, last proton.

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : And here we are. The end of the universe.

  [pause] 

  Philip J. Fry : Well, now what? You guys want to talk?

  Bender : No, thanks.

• Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : Just slow it down. I'll just shoot Hitler out the window.

  [Shoots] 

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : Darn! I hit Eleanor Roosevelt by mistake.

• Philip J. Fry : So, what was the purpose of life anyway?

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : Who knows? Probably some hogwash about the human spirit.

  Bender : Mmm-hmm.

  Philip J. Fry : Sounds about right.

• Year Fifty Million Woman #1 : Greetings, time travelers.

  Bender : Stupid jerks won't let me stay in the good future.

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : How did you know we were time travelers?

  Year Fifty Million Woman #2 : We too have studied the time travel enigma.

  Year Fifty Million Woman #3 : We have perfected a method that uses negative mass neutrino fields that allow us to travel backwards in time.

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : My name's Hubert.

  Philip J. Fry : All right! We can go home!

  Bender : [Mocking Fry]  Nyah-nyah, we can go...

  [Razzberry] 

  Year Fifty Million Woman #1 : We can talk about our research tomorrow. Men are rare in our society. Even very old and stupid males are priced. Tonight, please be our guests of honor in a fertility banquet.

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : Well, there certainly is no harm in a fertility banquet.

  Philip J. Fry : I can eat, and fertilize.

  Year Fifty Million Woman #1 : Very well. Anoint our guests in oil without using our hands.

  Bender : Oh, so we can stay in the future you like, but not the future I like? Next!

  [Benders starts up the time machine again and they leave the year 50 Million] 

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : No! I was about to close the deal!

  Philip J. Fry : Bender, they had a backwards time machine!

  Bender : The other place had a lot of nice things too. Did you even see that mountain of skulls?

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : Why you...

  [Slaps Bender very weakly] 

  Bender : Oh no you didn't!

  [They fight] 

• Philip J. Fry : So long, Earth. Thanks for the air and whatnot.

• Philip J. Fry : Please, let me make it up to you. I'll treat you to a fancy birthday dinner tonight at Cavern on the Green.

  Turanga Leela : Wow, that'll be the nicest place I've ever been stood up.

  Philip J. Fry : Not this time. No matter what happens, I swear I'll be there.

  Bender : Guys, guys! Hedonismbot is finally settling down and marrying a nice house in the suburbs, but tonight, he's having the girls-gone-wildest bachelor party of all time!

  Philip J. Fry : Whoo-hoo... who cares! I'm having dinner with Leela

  Turanga Leela : Just go to your stupid party. We can have dinner on my birthday some other year.

  Philip J. Fry : No. I can throw up on a stripper anytime. Tonight, I want to not throw up, on you.

  Turanga Leela : Really?

  Bender : Your loss. Hey, Professor! You're my wingman.

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : Very well. Eh, Cubert, fetch my drinking teeth.

• Philip J. Fry : Stop. Somewhere, sometime, Leela's waiting for me.

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : Fry's right.

  Bender : Yes, we have to work together, and not have this fight I was definitely winning.

• Philip J. Fry : I just need to sign Leela's birthday card. How do you spell XO?

  Amy Wong : Guh, it's a record-your-own-message card. You don't sign it, you leave a nude video greeting.

  Philip J. Fry : Does it have to be nude?

  Amy Wong : I guess not. That never occured to me.

• Philip J. Fry : [Sees the ruins of the Statue of Liberty]  No! They did it! They blew it up!

  [Camera pans to ape version of Statue of Liberty] 

  Philip J. Fry : And then the apes blew up their society! How could this have happened?

  [camera pans to other Statues of Liberty] 

  Philip J. Fry : And then the birds took over and ruined their society! And then the cows, and then... I don't know, is that a slug, maybe? Noooo!

• Dr. Zoidberg : The three co-workers I knew are now dead!

  Turanga Leela : Fry stood me up to go to that party, and now he's dead? I'm so angry! Yet also sad. But I'm still angry, yet also sad! Can I be both?

  Hermes Conrad : It's what we would have wanted.

  Turanga Leela : Then that's what I am!

  Turanga Leela : [Kicks TV]  Hi-yah-wah-ha-ha!

• Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : The year One Billion. I have a feeling this is exactly the point in time we've been looking for.

  [They step out; the earth is scorched and desolate] 

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : Nope.

  [Scans around with a device that beeps and displays an X] 

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : In fact, all life is extinct.

  [Bender chuckles] 

  Philip J. Fry : So, let's keep going forward.

  Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : Oh, it's no use. The Earth is dead. It's the end of all things.

• Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth : My God, is it possible?

  Philip J. Fry : It must be possible, it's happening. By the way, what's happening?

• Fry : [recording a record-your-own-message birthday card for Leela]  Happy birthday, Leela! I'm really sorry I'm gonna be one minute late, because we're testing the Professor's dumb time machine. But, well, happy birthday and all, and, I love you.

  Fry : [the Professor accidentally moves the switch which makes him, Fry and Bender go deep forward in time. Fry loses his card]  Ah, my card!