- Cleveland Brown Jr.: Kenny, don't tell me my new friend/hype man is a deadbeat dad.
- Kenny West: No, I ain't no deadbeat dad. I'm taking Kandace to school, I'm putting her to bed at night, I'm running around town trying to sell bone-density machines. Do you know how hard it is to sell a bone-density machine in this economy?
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: How hard is it?
- Kenny West: It's hard.
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: Oh, I thought you were trying to set up a joke.
- Rallo Tubbs: I need a real woman. There ain't a girl in our class with more than a A-cup. Heck, there ain't a girl in our class with more than a sippy cup.
- Terry Kimple: I'm sorry, Cleveland. I didn't want to hurt your feelings but the women who called specifically requested that you not come.
- Cleveland Brown: What? You must have misinterpreted them.
- Terry Kimple: They said, "Please do not bring the portly black gentleman." One woman was particularly repulsed by your stretch marks.
- Cleveland Brown: I have a child.
- Donna Tubbs: Rallo, are you bothering the big kids? Come here. I need to give you your diarrhea medicine.
- [Cleveland Jr. and Chanel laugh at Rallo]
- Rallo Tubbs: [to Cleveland Jr] You are in for a world of hurt, Buffalo Butt.
- Donna Tubbs: What did you call me?
- Rallo Tubbs: No, no, not you, Mama...
- [Donna grabs his ear]
- Rallo Tubbs: Aahh!
- Cleveland Brown: I'm a pimp. Oh, I'm gonna go buy a pimp hat and a pimp suit some pimp shoes, maybe a pimp scarf.
- Terry Kimple: Pimp socks?
- Cleveland Brown: No one's gonna see my damn socks, you slut.
- Donna Tubbs: Cleveland, where did you get that huge wad of cash?
- Cleveland Brown: Can't a man sneak into his house in the middle of the night with a huge wad of unexplained cash without being nagged by his wife? Shoot.
- Contractor: [after there's a gas leak at Cleveland's house] Leave the batteries in your carbon-monoxide detector from now on.
- Cleveland Brown: When your wife says she'll use it in front of you, you find some batteries.