Modern Family (TV Series)
Unplugged (2010)
Julie Bowen: Claire Dunphy
Photos
Quotes
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Alex Dunphy : Ugh! I can't believe it. I got a "B" on my paper.
Phil Dunphy : Good for you.
Claire Dunphy : Yeah.
Alex Dunphy : No, it would be good for *you*. It's terrible for *me*! Thanks to your moldy encyclopedias, my take on mitosis was completely out of date. They don't even call it "protoplasm" anymore. It's "cytoplasm".
Claire Dunphy : Well, you could have asked one of us.
Alex Dunphy : Now you're making jokes?
Claire Dunphy : I'm not making a joke.
Alex Dunphy : Really? What's the difference between a gamete and a zygote?
[pause]
Phil Dunphy : Don't fall for it, Claire. She's just making up words.
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Phil Dunphy : Hey!
Claire Dunphy : Hi, honey. How was your day at work?
Phil Dunphy : Amazing.
Claire Dunphy : Great. What happened?
Phil Dunphy : Instead of wasting my lunch hour surfing the Web, checking football stats, I put on some mellow music and I meditated.
Claire Dunphy : Wow! For how long?
Phil Dunphy : I have no idea. I just woke up twenty minutes ago.
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Phil Dunphy : You know what? We're gonna make this fun - turn it into a game. Whoever stays unplugged the longest wins.
Claire Dunphy : Not what I had in mind, Phil.
Alex Dunphy : What do we win?
Phil Dunphy : What do you want?
Alex Dunphy : I want a new computer.
Phil Dunphy : Done!
Claire Dunphy : We're gonna get them off of electronics with the promise of more electronics?
Luke Dunphy : I want chicken pot pie!
Phil Dunphy : And chicken.
Haley Dunphy : I want a car.
Claire Dunphy : No way!
Phil Dunphy : Done!
Haley Dunphy : I'm getting a car!
Phil Dunphy : Yeah! Fun, right?
Claire Dunphy : No, no, no! Phil, we cannot afford a third car!
Phil Dunphy : Relax, they're never gonna last as long as us!
Claire Dunphy : Oh, honey, don't take this the wrong way, but I have almost no faith in you.
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Alex Dunphy : How am I supposed to do my homework?
Claire Dunphy : The way I did.
Phil Dunphy : With a chisel and a piece of stone.
Claire Dunphy : Phil...
Phil Dunphy : Can't unplug my funny bone.
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Mitchell Pritchett : [on the phone with Claire] Hey, it's me. What's a good preschool?
Claire Dunphy : Uh... Well, our kids went to Wagon Wheel.
Mitchell Pritchett : And it was good? You liked it?
Claire Dunphy : Oh, well, you know my kids are middle management material at best. We didn't want to waste a lot of money. Yes, Mitchell, it's good. Why the interest?
Mitchell Pritchett : I just realized all of Lily's friends are going to school this year, and now she's late.
Claire Dunphy : Don't worry, she can wait another year. Just -
[looks at her family absorbed by their electronics]
Claire Dunphy : -buy her a Blackberry. That's all she's gonna want to do anyway.
Cameron Tucker : What did she say?
Mitchell Pritchett : She says to buy her a BlackBerry.
Cameron Tucker : [Yelling to the phone] Lily doesn't have the dexterity for that, Claire!
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Haley Dunphy : So you're actually online, right now?
Phil Dunphy : Yep!
Haley Dunphy : Well then I hate to break it to you, Daddy, but you lose!
Claire Dunphy , Phil Dunphy : What?
Haley Dunphy : This isn't my phone! I carved it out of a bar of soap and colored it in with a marker!
[tosses the 'phone' to Claire]
Claire Dunphy : Phil, she carved a phone out of a bar of soap.
Haley Dunphy : [Squealing] I can't believe that I'm getting a car!
Phil Dunphy : Holy crap, we've been Shawshanked.