- Cameron Tucker: Look, you know I love Jay, and they're still in the mix, but I just don't know about him raising a child.
- Mitchell Pritchett: Well, Cam, he raised me.
- Cameron Tucker: Well, now you've put me in an awkward position.
- Cameron Tucker: [Watching Jay berate Manny] Oh, there's your esteem-building parent right there. Wait, wait: I think I hear Future Lily sending us a message from her stripper pole. "Thanks, gay dead dads. This dance is for you."
- Mitchell Pritchett: So Cam and I have been revising our will to specify who should take care of Lily if, God forbid, something happens to us.
- Cameron Tucker: God forbid!
- Mitchell Pritchett: I said God for... So we've been dropping by unannounced to, you know, casually assess our candidates.
- Cameron Tucker: Not all of our candidates.
- Mitchell Pritchett: No, that's true. We did not drop by Missourah.
- Cameron Tucker: It's Missouri. No one from Missouri would say 'Missourah'.
- Mitchell Pritchett: I'm so sorrah.
- Mitchell Pritchett: [Seeing the Dunphy house in chaos] Did we come at a bad time?
- Claire Dunphy: Come back seven years and five months, when they're all gone!
- Alex Dunphy: Where are we?
- Haley Dunphy: Boys' locker room.
- Alex Dunphy: It smells like feet.
- Haley Dunphy: That's not feet.
- Haley Dunphy: You win the award for worst mother ever!
- Claire Dunphy: I will be sure to thank you in my speech.
- Manny Delgado: I'm sorry I let you down, Jay. I'm starting to think if I couldn't even get up that wall, then why am I even going on...
- Jay Pritchett: Knock it off, Manny. We both know you could get up that wall. Now why are you trying to get out of this trip?
- Manny Delgado: I'm not! I'm exited to go!
- Jay Pritchett: Manny.
- Manny Delgado: Okay. I have some concerns about the shower situation.
- Jay Pritchett: Oh. Because?
- Manny Delgado: Well, I'm pretty much at my target weight.
- Jay Pritchett: That's good.
- Manny Delgado: But the thing is, I haven't quite reached... my target height.
- Jay Pritchett: Got it. First of all, you don't have to go. I'll write you a note; we'll plan on doing something fun this weekend.
- Manny Delgado: Really?
- Jay Pritchett: You bet.
- Manny Delgado: And you're not mad at me?
- Jay Pritchett: Look, if you were a different kid, I'd give you the speech, you know, 'We all have insecurities, you've gotta be brave here,', but let's face it, you're already about the bravest kid I know.
- Manny Delgado: I am?
- Jay Pritchett: Come in. You wear blazers to school; you play the pan flute; you, you read poetry to girls. I couldn't even talk to girls when I was your age. Shower thing's nothing compared to all that. But whatever you decide, I'm behind you.