- Phil Dunphy: While Claire watched one of the most acclaimed films of the year, I sat through a badly made schlockfest with absolutely no redeeming value. And it was awesome.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: Jay, you don't treat people like that.
- Jay Pritchett: What, I should do what you do? Pretend to like someone you don't?
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: I'm doing it right now.
- Cameron Tucker: I wanna to hear all about Mitchell from high school. Did he have a beard?
- Tracy: Uh, you're looking at her. 'Course, I didn't know it back then.
- Phil Dunphy: Claire and I share a true love of cheesy cinema. Our favorite categories include genetically engineered animals gone wrong...
- Claire Dunphy: Old and young people switching bodies.
- Phil Dunphy: Mm-hmm. Uh, tough guys taking care of babies.
- Claire Dunphy: Any sequel three and higher.
- Phil Dunphy: Oh, yeah. Usually get a new cast around five. That's where the magic really happens.
- Claire Dunphy: Yeah, yeah.