- Jules Cobb: I have a date with this mean dermatologist. She's the worst.
- Travis Cobb: Then why do you go to her?
- Jules Cobb: Because she's the best.
- Jules Cobb: Are you threatening me?
- Dr. Amy Evans: I haven't decided yet.
- Jules Cobb: Well when you know let me know.
- Dr. Amy Evans: I decided. Back off!
- Laurie Keller: [after meeting her soon-to-be boyfriend, Smith] He has a first-name last name and a last-name first name! I swear to God, if I ever have a white baby, I am totally naming it Smith!