WWE Smackdown! (TV Series)

Nowhere To Run (2000)

Mick Foley: Commissioner Mick Foley

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Quotes 

• Kurt Angle : First of all, Mick, I just want to say that you're doing a really super job as WWF commissioner. It's true, you are. You're eloquent, fair-minded, and you're a really great dresser, too. With that in mind, since we're talking about main-event matches, I think the only main-event match that makes any sense at all is me versus Triple H. Now, Triple H might complain that his "ribs are too sore" or he doesn't "feel very well". Well, that's just tough, because the fact of the matter is, this match needs to take place tonight. Not just for me, but for my hometown fans.

  [the crowd begins an "Angle" chant] 

  Kurt Angle : Because let's face it, this town has nothing going for it right now.

  [the cheers turn to boos] 

  Kurt Angle : And that is true. The Steelers are a disgrace, the Pirates are an embarrassment, and the Pens... well, actually, the Pens aren't too bad, but nobody cares about hockey. So, Mick, I'm the only thing left in these people's lives. Many of them, whom are out on bail just to see me, deserve nothing less, and that is true.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Kurt, uh, that's really nice of you to come out here, but I don't know if you've realized it, but Chris Benoit and I were just in the middle of a very pleasant conversation.

  Kurt Angle : Chris Benoit? Hey, don't get me started on this guy. Not only did he blow another chance at a title shot last Monday night, but he committed something far worse than that. He physically attacked Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, and you do not do that! That is Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. That is the owner's daughter. It's true. That is Vince McMahon's only daughter. I mean, it's bad enough that Austin is back, but do you want Vince McMahon back, as well? I don't think so. And, Mick, not only that, but Stephanie is my friend, and you do not do that to my friends. So, Mick, not only should Chris Benoit not have another title shot, but he should be fined and suspended! And that is true!

  Chris Benoit : Now, hold on a second. You gonna listen to this clown?

  Kurt Angle : Clown? You're calling me a clown? Me, a clown?

  [Mick physically gets in between the two of them] 

  Kurt Angle : Aren't you supposed to be the best damn wrestler in the business? Well, where are your gold medals? That's right, you don't have any. Mick, don't listen to this guy. Give these people something to live for. Give them my match right here tonight.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Kurt, as your commissioner, I can kind of sense what you want. You want a piece of Triple H, don't you?

  [pointing at Benoit] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : And you want a piece of The Rock tonight. To tell you the truth, I don't see why we can't grant both wishes and make both of you two very happy.

  Kurt Angle : Mick, like I said before, you are a really great commissioner. Thank you.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Thank you very much, Kurt, because tonight, you will team up with Chris Benoit to take on the tag team of The Rock and Triple H, right here in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania!

• Chris Benoit : First of all, Mick, let me just clarify something for you. You've done a God-awful job as WWF commissioner. Your decisions are completely unfair, your rulings make no sense, and now you've completely lost control. Face it, Mick, you're a joke.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Maybe you think my job as commissioner just is to come out here, make a few opening statements, get interrupted by guys like you, and then make the main event, but I guarantee you, there's a hell of a lot more to it than that.

  Chris Benoit : You are right about one thing tonight, Mick. You came out here, made a few opening statements, you just got interrupted, and now you're about to make the main event. Monday night, I had The Rock beat.

  [the crowd boos] 

  Chris Benoit : Why did I have him beat? Because I'm better than he is, it's that simple. But here in the WWF, it's not about who the better wrestler is, is it?

  [the crowd begins chanting for The Rock] 

  Chris Benoit : 'Cause it if was, well, you'd have been retired a long time ago. Fact of the matter is you do need some help here, Mick. So here's your main event for tonight, Chris Benoit vs The Rock. But, but... there's a very special stipulation involved. One that's almost... unheard of here in the WWF since you've been commissioner. I will fight The Rock...

  [chuckling] 

  Chris Benoit : Now here's the real crazy part. I will fight The Rock in a... are you ready? One-on-one wrestling match, in the middle of a wrestling ring, where the only people in the ring are the wrestlers and the referee. Monday night, it was supposed to be me fighting The Rock and The Rock alone. Not Shane McMahon, not Stephanie McMahon, not Triple H, not Kurt Angle. Let's face it, Mick, you know deep down in your heart, as well as everyone in here, deep down in your heart, one on one, there is no way The Rock can beat me. So let me give you a little warning. I want my match, one on one tonight, against The Rock, or else.

• Commissioner Mick Foley : Now, I know a lot of you out here tonight are probably too young to remember when I used to wrestle.

  [cheers from the crowd] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : I know you might find this hard to believe, but I wasn't always the most physically gifted guy in the world, but nonetheless, I did my damndest to be the best wrestler I could be. In fact, some of you may remember a little match back in 1998 called the Hell in a Cell.

  [the crowd cheers loudly] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : When I was thrown off the top of that cell structure and my career nearly ended right here in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania!

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Thank you. Now, I may not have proved to be the greatest wrestler in the world, but I am attempting to be the greatest ex-wrestler in the world by being your WWF commissioner. So far, all in all, I'd say it's been pretty smooth sailing, but there is a storm cloud on our horizon threatening to make great waves for all of us, and that storm cloud is called Stone Cold Steve Austin.

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : And that's great that Steve is back, and it's great that everybody cheers for him, but, you see, Steve Austin has gotta realize, and Steve's not here yet, but I'll explain this to him face to face when he does get here, is that I've been put in a position of great power, and I think Steve Austin's gotta learn to accept that great power because if he doesn't, well, hell, I might as well just go on home. Now, I respect Steve Austin's investigation and his attempt to get to the bottom of who just ran him over last November, but there's a way to do that and it doesn't involve giving a Stone Cold Stunner to everyone in sight. I mean, let's face it, if Stone Cold Steve Austin really wants to go around committing random acts of violence, well, damn it, he can go find employment at the United States Post Office. So, Steve, please understand that there's your way and that there's my way, and you can take this as a warning if you want to, but you will play by my rules or else.