- Frankie Heck: Oh my God, Mike! The Christmas village? I love setting up the Christmas village. All right, this is chaos. The guy with the newspaper is supposed to go in front of the bakery. You got him lurking around the school like he's some kind of pedophile. And, look, you got the carolers on the train track - like that's gonna end well.
- Brick Heck: Hey, look what I found! My Santa Pez dispenser! It slid out from underneath the seat the second time we almost died. It's a Christmas miracle!.
- Mike Heck: Hey, Axl, I'm going to the mall. Did you do your Christmas list?
- Axl Heck: Cash, a cell phone, and to be left alone.
- Mike Heck: Brick, did you make your list for Santa?
- Brick Heck: What I really want this year is some answers. What's the true meaning of Christmas? Are we here for a reason? What is the purpose of life?
- Mike Heck: How about a bike?
- Brick Heck: And then I started thinking that someday you'll be gone. And I'll be go. And we'll all be gone.
- Mike Heck: Well sure. Everybody worries about death. It's terrifying. But you know what we do? We shove it out of our minds. That's why we have books and candy and water parks and TV. Its all just a big old distraction from death. So, all better?
- Brick Heck: Okay.