- Folksinger: Let me tell you the Story 22 verses Long, about a woman who Dildoed and Didled along...
- Spectator 1: What are they fighting about?
- Spectator 2: Well, this fellow likes Crinkle Cut Crisps, and this fellow likes Plain.
- Priest: I don't see any of you for months, but as soon as there's a Wedding everyone's religious! YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HELL!