"Urlaub mit kleinen Folgen" is a German television film from 2010, so this one had its tenth anniversary last year already. It's another ARD Degeto production with support from Theaterkunst GmbH (i.e. Theater"kunst" GmbH as I call them), so you really should expect the worst once again. I am not sure what we should consider the bigger scandal here: That this film got released despite how bad it was or that it is still on national television a decade later? Probably the answer is that this got financed through GEZ money, i.e. money that German citizens were forced to pay and still are today in 2021, even if they do not even watch nonsense films like this one here. The director of these under 1.5 hours was Markus Bräutigam and he was already almost 60 back then. If at this age, he is still making films like that, then there is no hope. His body of work is all quantity, zero quality. Titles like Das verflixte Babyjahr - Nie wieder Sex?!, Dreamboy macht Frauen glücklich and Die Liebe kommt als Untermieter are really self-explanatory. And there is more like that. Also seeing that the abysmal Alles was zählt is his most recent project is not exactly helping. No talent whatsoever with this filmmaker apparently and this film we have here is also evidence for that. The writers are Bortoli and Zinke, so a duo of females and it's kinda fitting because the protagonist in here is also a woman, at least the protagonist that has the most screen time. This duo's bodies of work are also absolutely nothing to be proud of and with Zinke it's a good thing she has not done anything since 2014. I would say her filmography is slightly worse than Bortoli's, but now I see Bortoli has worked on Sturm der Liebe recently. Ugh. So both are terrible too and kinda fitting they have wprked together on a few projects. Seem to bring out the worst in each other and these two fit in nicely here with director Bräutigam. Utter absence of talent.
With the cast, things are not really looking any better at all. It's always been a bit difficult for me to go harsh on lead actress Muriel Baumeister from Austria because I have adored her looks for years, if not decades and back then she was almost 40. Now she is almost 50 and at least back then in 2010, she was still pretty much on the stunning side. But this of course does not mean she is giving a remotely convincing performance here. The opposite is the case. She is not lead actor (or actress, for the gender nuts) material. Admittedly, she is not making the script any worse really, but she is also far from elevating the material. The one who felt even worse to me here is Tim Bergmann, which made it impossible for me to cheer for them to get together, although it becomes really clear since the very first meeting that he is the one for her. I think I have seen Bergmann in other stuff and he is a very limited actor. The other man is played by Gunther Gillian and at least I thought he could actually be a Hispanic actor, so he did not get it all wrong with the accent and everything I suppose. His looks probably helped as well. Truth is Gillian is as Austrian as Baumeister. So I would say that maybe he gave the best performance here, which does not mean a lot because nobody's good or anything. And finally, the female protagonist's mother is played by Gaby Dohm, another pretty experienced actress who is alo fairly old now already. She did not have a lot of screentime, but when she did, she was really bringing out the worst. How she randomly shows up abroad all of a sudden to visit her daughter and her new man and the man's family felt so fake and for the sake of it, but what was even worse, was the moment when she and Juan are staring at each other before Juan says something cute and she laughs. That was maybe the worst moment from the entire movie honestly, like how she checks out her girl's man. Unreal stuff they were serious with that and sure thing Dohm's character is a tough and smart woman as well. We do not need to see her more to understand. The art of anti-male make-believe in these films is an absolute travesty. "Art" I should say.
So those are the key players. Some smaller characters were actually portrayed by people with Spanish roots at least apparently, but the one who plays the man's mother is also not one bit Spanish and one actress that sounds Spanish (Isabel Janela) is Swiss in fact. So overall, this is still a very German movie. I already talked a bit about the story, but I will go into detail about it all now and elaborate on why I did not like it at all for the most part. Mention some of the most cringeworthy scenes and inclusions, even if my "favorite" I already stated with the scene between Dohm's and Gillian's characters. Still, the way the mother reacted towards him in general shows us that he is not an antagonist or ruthless or something as it would have been in many other Degeto films. He also says he cares for the baby and will come to Germany to visit his offspring. By the way, Baumeister's character originates from Berlin here, doesn't she? My city, so I found it especially disappointing how bland this place was depicted in here, even if a great part of the movie is set abroad. One weak inclusion is really everything that has to do with the pregnancy. The cringeworthy moment when she holds a presentation and is about to say something pseudo-important and then has to throw up all of a sudden was literally unwatchable. Same about her doubts while taking the pregnancy test and how she reacts to the positive result. I mean those were key moments of the film and the protagonist's life and they felt so uninspired and shoddy that you know immediately that those who made this movie have almost no talent at all. I already mentioned that Degeto is almost always anti-male and this is true here as well. The guys have to be crazy for the woman, especially the German dude has to be really needy and take all the humiliation he gets when she constantly treats him like her best friend. I could mention at least five quotes there. And how she finally falls for him during this awards ceremony where of course the Spanish guy takes home the big prize was truly embarrassing with how they look at each other. The burning heart in the end was kinda cool and cute though, I give them that.
Nothing else positive to mention here. The moments chocolate was basically used for seduction purposes were not exactly on the creative side either. I mean I did not want to be the one at that very moment to take a bite and it looked just brown and gooey and not delicious or anything, so tough to believe those people were experts in that area of production. In terms of high-quality sweets. But why would I expect quality there when it isn't anywhere else. The predictability I already mentioned as well. Sometimes, even if these films are utter nonsense, at least you cannot be 100% sure how things will turn out, but here it could not be any more obvious since the first moment when she meets Bergmann's character. This broken revolving door scene was truly as embarrassing as it gets. I am not sure if their meeting there was the bigger coincidence or her randomly meeting the Spanish dude again in a situation where she did not expect it at all. I mean it makes no sense with how big the place is and there he shows up all of a sudden. Yeah, right. Don't tell me about fate please. In-between, we get some motherly mentoring from Dohm's character that would only have been more unwatchable if Thekla Carola Wied played the part I assume. So yeah, there is so much wrong with this movie, also again the terribly exaggerated soundtrack that Baumeister's beautiful face alone cannot make up for this. I applaud every female (and every straight male) who see through all this and see this film for what it is. Waste of money and time. These Degeto films usually lack subtlety, but with this one here, it felt especially serious I would say. Nothing in that department. The moments of jealousy were still slightly better the way Gillian portrayed them, so a bit sad that his career is also only bad projects now a decade later. The final talk scene in the car when the mother thinks her daughter is talking about him, but is wrong was another negative highlight.
Of course, also as always, this film gets a 100% happy ending. She is still on good terms with the father of the child and the man who really loves her gets her and she finally understands that he is the one for her. Of course, they also would not miss out on the occasion to show us the baby, so there is a little flash-forward in time because during the film she is only three months pregnant or so. At the end, they are all united of course and we get the full cringe once more. Baumeister's character is now all of a sudden close friends with the father's mother after their relationship earlier was more on the cold and distanced side. Dohm's character shows up and arries around books of how to bring up children bilingually. Of course. Yeah, she was really the worst here. Going ham and over the top during every single scene. Impressive. Maybe she is worse than Wied even. She is really bad. And Bergmann's character, the epitome of a testicle-less male who only exists in the Degeto universe to pelase his woman can also be happy to play a father now to a child from another man and it's a price he is more than willing to pay if it allows him to be with Baumeister's character. The only thing missing here really would have been Dohm's character to date some older Spanish guy or something. Absolutely unwatchable film and this gets the worst-possible rating from me, which was basically clear in the first five minutes already. Oh and of course, pregnant women always collapse for drama purposes in these films. Nothing to do with reality either. One could think this was the case in real life as well. But nope, more make believe and reason to skip the watch. Highly not recommended.
With the cast, things are not really looking any better at all. It's always been a bit difficult for me to go harsh on lead actress Muriel Baumeister from Austria because I have adored her looks for years, if not decades and back then she was almost 40. Now she is almost 50 and at least back then in 2010, she was still pretty much on the stunning side. But this of course does not mean she is giving a remotely convincing performance here. The opposite is the case. She is not lead actor (or actress, for the gender nuts) material. Admittedly, she is not making the script any worse really, but she is also far from elevating the material. The one who felt even worse to me here is Tim Bergmann, which made it impossible for me to cheer for them to get together, although it becomes really clear since the very first meeting that he is the one for her. I think I have seen Bergmann in other stuff and he is a very limited actor. The other man is played by Gunther Gillian and at least I thought he could actually be a Hispanic actor, so he did not get it all wrong with the accent and everything I suppose. His looks probably helped as well. Truth is Gillian is as Austrian as Baumeister. So I would say that maybe he gave the best performance here, which does not mean a lot because nobody's good or anything. And finally, the female protagonist's mother is played by Gaby Dohm, another pretty experienced actress who is alo fairly old now already. She did not have a lot of screentime, but when she did, she was really bringing out the worst. How she randomly shows up abroad all of a sudden to visit her daughter and her new man and the man's family felt so fake and for the sake of it, but what was even worse, was the moment when she and Juan are staring at each other before Juan says something cute and she laughs. That was maybe the worst moment from the entire movie honestly, like how she checks out her girl's man. Unreal stuff they were serious with that and sure thing Dohm's character is a tough and smart woman as well. We do not need to see her more to understand. The art of anti-male make-believe in these films is an absolute travesty. "Art" I should say.
So those are the key players. Some smaller characters were actually portrayed by people with Spanish roots at least apparently, but the one who plays the man's mother is also not one bit Spanish and one actress that sounds Spanish (Isabel Janela) is Swiss in fact. So overall, this is still a very German movie. I already talked a bit about the story, but I will go into detail about it all now and elaborate on why I did not like it at all for the most part. Mention some of the most cringeworthy scenes and inclusions, even if my "favorite" I already stated with the scene between Dohm's and Gillian's characters. Still, the way the mother reacted towards him in general shows us that he is not an antagonist or ruthless or something as it would have been in many other Degeto films. He also says he cares for the baby and will come to Germany to visit his offspring. By the way, Baumeister's character originates from Berlin here, doesn't she? My city, so I found it especially disappointing how bland this place was depicted in here, even if a great part of the movie is set abroad. One weak inclusion is really everything that has to do with the pregnancy. The cringeworthy moment when she holds a presentation and is about to say something pseudo-important and then has to throw up all of a sudden was literally unwatchable. Same about her doubts while taking the pregnancy test and how she reacts to the positive result. I mean those were key moments of the film and the protagonist's life and they felt so uninspired and shoddy that you know immediately that those who made this movie have almost no talent at all. I already mentioned that Degeto is almost always anti-male and this is true here as well. The guys have to be crazy for the woman, especially the German dude has to be really needy and take all the humiliation he gets when she constantly treats him like her best friend. I could mention at least five quotes there. And how she finally falls for him during this awards ceremony where of course the Spanish guy takes home the big prize was truly embarrassing with how they look at each other. The burning heart in the end was kinda cool and cute though, I give them that.
Nothing else positive to mention here. The moments chocolate was basically used for seduction purposes were not exactly on the creative side either. I mean I did not want to be the one at that very moment to take a bite and it looked just brown and gooey and not delicious or anything, so tough to believe those people were experts in that area of production. In terms of high-quality sweets. But why would I expect quality there when it isn't anywhere else. The predictability I already mentioned as well. Sometimes, even if these films are utter nonsense, at least you cannot be 100% sure how things will turn out, but here it could not be any more obvious since the first moment when she meets Bergmann's character. This broken revolving door scene was truly as embarrassing as it gets. I am not sure if their meeting there was the bigger coincidence or her randomly meeting the Spanish dude again in a situation where she did not expect it at all. I mean it makes no sense with how big the place is and there he shows up all of a sudden. Yeah, right. Don't tell me about fate please. In-between, we get some motherly mentoring from Dohm's character that would only have been more unwatchable if Thekla Carola Wied played the part I assume. So yeah, there is so much wrong with this movie, also again the terribly exaggerated soundtrack that Baumeister's beautiful face alone cannot make up for this. I applaud every female (and every straight male) who see through all this and see this film for what it is. Waste of money and time. These Degeto films usually lack subtlety, but with this one here, it felt especially serious I would say. Nothing in that department. The moments of jealousy were still slightly better the way Gillian portrayed them, so a bit sad that his career is also only bad projects now a decade later. The final talk scene in the car when the mother thinks her daughter is talking about him, but is wrong was another negative highlight.
Of course, also as always, this film gets a 100% happy ending. She is still on good terms with the father of the child and the man who really loves her gets her and she finally understands that he is the one for her. Of course, they also would not miss out on the occasion to show us the baby, so there is a little flash-forward in time because during the film she is only three months pregnant or so. At the end, they are all united of course and we get the full cringe once more. Baumeister's character is now all of a sudden close friends with the father's mother after their relationship earlier was more on the cold and distanced side. Dohm's character shows up and arries around books of how to bring up children bilingually. Of course. Yeah, she was really the worst here. Going ham and over the top during every single scene. Impressive. Maybe she is worse than Wied even. She is really bad. And Bergmann's character, the epitome of a testicle-less male who only exists in the Degeto universe to pelase his woman can also be happy to play a father now to a child from another man and it's a price he is more than willing to pay if it allows him to be with Baumeister's character. The only thing missing here really would have been Dohm's character to date some older Spanish guy or something. Absolutely unwatchable film and this gets the worst-possible rating from me, which was basically clear in the first five minutes already. Oh and of course, pregnant women always collapse for drama purposes in these films. Nothing to do with reality either. One could think this was the case in real life as well. But nope, more make believe and reason to skip the watch. Highly not recommended.
